


Story Through Time

by skzpresso



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood and Injury, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, I'm not that mean, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lots of Cuddling, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Alcohol, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, Platonic Kissing, Sexual Harassment, Sexual Inexperience, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, i am now realizing it isn't, i thought this was happy, i'm too awkward to write that, it's not super descriptive, ok i think that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 11:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22155391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skzpresso/pseuds/skzpresso
Summary: Jisung and his family moved into the empty home next to Hyunjin's when they were five.They've grown up together, through troubling and easy times. Meeting Felix, Seungmin, and Changbin along the way. The five made such vivid memories together.However, the memories for Hyunjin and Jisung show the slow process of falling in love without even realizing it.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 185





	Story Through Time

**Author's Note:**

> Normally this would be a laid back intro to the fic, but I want to go into detail about what this story contains in relation to the tags to ensure you know what you're reading. 
> 
> This is rated Mature for a reason, there are scenes in this that are not light-hearted as the tags state. The markers for certain scenes that could be most triggering will begin and end with "+++"
> 
> The scene containing sexual harassment and attempted rape/non-con falls somewhere between the two so I tagged as both. However, I do think it leans much more closely to attempted rape considering the context of that scene. I also decided to be cautious and tag it as abuse as well.
> 
> The scene with assault and homophobic language isn't incredibly graphic, but there are mentions of blood and the language used was vulgar. 
> 
> There is a scene with sexual content within this fic, however, it falls between vague and detailed. Let's put it this way, there is nothing incredibly graphic during that scene. (Be lucky it's there, at first I just cut it off awkwardly since I didn't think I could write it.)
> 
> I think this covers everything that is most important to understand within this fic. Please be careful reading if these topics are sensitive to you, and you still continue onwards. 
> 
> I do not condone the actions within those scenes. Please stay safe. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this nonetheless.
> 
> Note: The Minho mentioned in this fic is not SKZ Minho. I just needed a name.

_Kindergarten_

Hyunjin was five when a new family moved in next door. He was excited to see the family had children just as young as he was. He enthusiastically watched from the window in the living room as the young boy was chasing around an older girl. She looked more mature than the boy, she was definitely taller. He figured she was the boy's older sister. 

Hyunjin really wanted to meet the boy next door, but he was frightened. He hadn’t interacted with many kids his age and adults were scary, always cooing at him and getting in his face. He didn’t understand what they were doing or why they felt they needed to make him uncomfortable. However, he watched as the family slowly approached his home. He flinched when the doorbell rang, the sound resonating in his head since he was right next to the door. His mom moved quickly from the kitchen to answer the door. 

“Hello! We’ve just got here, but we’ll be the family next door! We wanted to go ahead and introduce ourselves before it got too late in the evening.” The lady spoke. She had a warm smile as she extended her hand to Hyunjin’s mother, who accepted the greeting immediately.

“Welcome!” One of the kids suddenly moved behind the parents, “Oh? It seems you have young ones too? I happen to have a son who looks to be as young as yours. Hyunjin? Would you come here, please?” His mother asked. He had been hiding behind the door in hopes of not being noticed. He came around the door with his head down, extremely embarrassed by being announced so suddenly. 

“Jisungie! Why don’t you introduce yourself?” 

The boy Hyunjin was watching peeked out from around his mother’s leg with a smile so bright it took Hyunjin by surprise. His smile was slightly dimmed by the fact he had already lost one of his front teeth, but his chubby cheeks made up for it. 

“Hi, Hyunjin! I’m Jisung! How old are you?” The other boy nearly yelled. His mother motioned for him to quiet down. 

“I’m five…” Hyunjin barely said above a whisper, but Jisung heard it loud and clear. 

“Yay! We’re the same age! We can take down my sister together! Can we keep playing? I wanna play with Hyunjin too!” Jisung tugged on his sister’s sleeve as he was jumping up and down. The girl sighed but had a smile on her face. Her resolve quickly diminished by her brother’s excitement.

“ _Okay,_ Jisung. We can keep playing, Hyunjin? Would you like to join us, if that’s okay with your mom?” The girl asked both Hyunjin, and his mother. 

“I think it’d be nice for Hyunjin to have a friend his age. If you want to go play, you can. I’ll sit right here in the main room so if you need me just yell, ok?” His mother combed through his hair gently while reassuring him. Hyunjin stepped out from around his mother and moved towards Jisung and his sister. 

“What’s your name?” Hyunjin asked her when she took hold of his hand. 

“I’m Jihyo! I’m Jisung’s older sister, I’m eight.” She had a warm smile, one that Hyunjin couldn’t help but return. 

“Let’s play!” Jisung shouted as he ran away from Jihyo. She smiled and immediately took off after her brother. “Tag!” 

Hyunjin realized this was his cue to run. With a giggle he began to chase Jisung and Jihyo around, loving the feeling of playing with other kids his age. He hadn’t been able to enjoy something like this with anyone, so it earned a special place in his heart. Hyunjin’s mother watched from her chair, she enjoyed seeing Hyunjin make friends. He was shy, she knew this. She didn’t care that he was introverted, but she did want him to have at least one friend for his schooling days. She was rather confident that Jisung would be that friend for him. 

_ Elementary School _

“ _Jihyo_ ,” Jisung whined dramatically, “ I’m bored.” He stood in his sister’s doorway. To him, it seemed like she was reading a book. Jihyo’s room was organized and neat, unlike Jisung’s which his mom called _organized chaos._ He really didn’t care if he was being honest.

“Why don’t you go over and talk to Hyunjinnie?” She suggested without even looking up. She just wanted to read her book in peace. Jisung pursed his lips in thought. 

“Do you think he’ll play with me?” His voice laced with insecurity.

Jisung and Hyunjin had been apart of the same classes since he moved here but Hyunjin was incredibly shy. He didn’t talk much to Jisung and nearly refused to talk to anyone else in the class. 

Jisung constantly tried to get the other boy to play and interact, but Hyunjin often pulled away and sat on the sidelines. He didn’t understand why Hyunjin was so reserved.

“Do you want me to come with you for a while?” Jihyo offered, already putting away her book. She figured she could try and soothe the tension between the two. She had noticed all of the same things Jisung has, but she figured Hyunjin wasn’t as excited about people as Jisung was. Or he was nervous about messing up a friendship.

“Thank you, Jihyo.” 

The two walked over to Hyunjin’s house after letting their mom know they were going next door. Jihyo knocked on the main door, waiting for a response. A few moments later, Hyunjin’s mother opened the door. 

“I wasn’t expecting you two today, come inside! Hyunjin, Jisung and Jihyo are here!” Mrs. Hwang called out to Hyunjin who was most likely in his room upstairs. 

Mrs. Hwang directed them to the couch in her living room. After she handed Jihyo the remote she went to the kitchen and called down Hyunjin once more since she noticed his door hadn’t opened.

She returned with some water and a few snacks, and Hyunjin then decided it was the right time to come down. He peeked around the doorway to see Jisung and Jihyo, but they didn’t see him yet. He moved back behind the wall before they could notice him. He waited for his mom to come back to where he was. 

“Mom, why are they here?” Hyunjin asked quietly. She crouched down to hear him better.

“I’m sure it’s because they wanted to see you, Jinnie. Jisung really wants to be your friend, why don’t you let him?” Hyunjin looked down at the floor with a pout. 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” 

“Aw, Jinnie. He’s been trying for months to get your attention, I’m sure he wants to be your friend for a reason.” Mrs. Hwang softly pets Hyunjin’s hair before standing back up. 

“I know you can let them in, Jinnie. You’ll benefit from having some friends your age.”

When she walked away, it left Hyunjin with a big choice. 

Does he go in there and try to befriend Jisung and Jihyo?

Or will he choose to remain quiet? 

He heard the two laughing and talking loudly, mainly about the show on the television. He wanted to be a part of that too. 

So gathering up all the courage he could, he joined them.

\- - -

“Jinnie! It’s snowing! Let’s go!” Jisung was looking out the large window in his living area. Hyunjin had stayed the night before after being together all day, and they woke up to snow. 

“I don’t have a coat,” Hyunjin said a bit sadly, he loved the snow and wanted to go outside to play. He had left his coat at home since he didn’t think about the possibility of it snowing. Jisung turned around with wide eyes before getting an idea.

“I have one you can use, let me get it.” Jisung darted back upstairs to fetch the extra coat, rushing down just as fast. Panting a bit, he handed the coat over to Hyunjin who graciously accepted the coat. 

“Thanks, Jisungie!” 

When they made it outside, Jihyo had already been out. She was building a small snowman out near the mailbox. The Christmas decorations were already on display in preparation for the holiday next week. 

For quite some time, the two were content throwing snowballs at each other and play fighting in the snow. Their faces were red from the cold, but they were having too much fun to care about it. 

“Want to help me make another snowman?” Jihyo called out as she crossed the front yard. “It’d be cool to make one together don’t you think?”

“Let’s do it, Jisungie. Please?” Hyunjin shook the other boy’s shoulders until he agreed to help make the snowman. Hyunjin practically beaming in happiness.

Each one was tasked with making a section of the body. Jihyo took making the base since it was the largest one to make. While Jisung made the middle piece and Hyunjin made the top piece. 

It was overall quiet as they were packing the snow together. Only the sounds of crunching snow and occasional giggles could be heard from the three. 

When they stacked all the pieces together and decorated it, they called out to Jisung’s mother who was sitting on the porch to watch. 

“Take a picture!” Jisung yelled in excitement. He was rather proud of the snowman the three made together. His mother shook her head slightly at Jisung’s antics but stood to take the picture anyway. 

Hyunjin loved this moment spent with two people he could now call his friends. 

\- - -

“I want to get Jisungie a present, but I’m not sure what he’d like.” Hyunjin thought aloud to his mom. She was on the other side of the kitchen counter, making something for Hyunjin to eat. 

“Why not get him something meaningful? It doesn’t have to be super big.” She honestly couldn’t afford an expensive last-minute Christmas present, but she also believes the little things matter as well. The two kids could probably gift each other just wrapping paper and they’d treasure it forever.

“What could I do then?” Hyunjin asked. He couldn’t really come up with anything on his own. 

“Friendship bracelets?” 

Now that was an idea Hyunjin could work with. It would be something nice for them to both have. 

“Let’s do that! I think it’s cool, hopefully, Jisung does too.” 

Much to Hyunjin’s pleasure, he didn’t have to wait too long to find out. 

Two days later was Christmas, and he invited Jisung over to give him his gift. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie about that. What if Jisung didn’t like it at all? He really didn’t want that to be the case.

Jisung had a small gift bag in his hand, apparently, he thought to get Hyunjin something as well. 

Hyunjin, however, had been worried for no reason because Jisung had a similar idea. Jisung had gifted Hyunjin a pair of gloves that matched his own. Jisung had such an excited look in his eye as Hyunjin realized what he had gotten. He looked proud of himself.

When Jisung opened the box with the bracelet for him, he tackled Hyunjin into a hug. It was forceful enough that they both fell onto the floor while giggling. They mirrored each other's smiles when they sat back up.

“Thank you, Jinnie. I’m really glad we became friends.” 

\- - -

Jisung was not a problem student, he was, in fact, the teacher’s favorite. He always did his assignments and kept his desk clean, plus he sat front and center. He actually liked the lessons.

Jisung was not a violent student. He had many friends and loved affection more than he probably should. It didn’t stop him from seeking out hugs though, especially hugs from Hyunjin.

Today was _very_ different. 

The class had yet to start formally, so all the students were just sitting around and waiting. Some students were talking with each other, while some were playing a card game which Jisung _thinks_ is Uno.

“This kid is so weird. Why don’t you talk?” Jisung heard one of the guys say, it immediately alarmed him. He turned around in his desk just in time to see Hyunjin getting pushed out of his chair and onto the floor. The class gasps at the display. A few students scatter from the desks around them, not wanting to get involved.

“You don’t even ask me to stop, how messed up can you be?” The guy said again and kicked Hyunjin in the stomach. Hyunjin coughed while the other continuously kicked him. A student near the door rushed out to alert the teacher.

It was the first time Jisung had ever been this angry. He wasted no time in rushing to the back, shoving the guy to the floor. Another gasp escaped the students simultaneously. They wrestled for a bit before Jisung kicked him between the legs, making the other guy surrender in pain. His clothes were all wrinkled now, he saw all the students around looking behind him. 

He wasn’t stupid.

“Han Jisung, I’ll be speaking to you and your mother after class.” The teacher said sternly but looked shocked regardless. Jisung quickly went over to Hyunjin. 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Jisung rushed out while trying to scan Hyunjin. He was scared he was in pain. Hyunjin wiped at his eyes roughly, he must have been crying. There was no way he was walking away with no bruises from that.

“No, I’m fine. We can talk later when your mom comes.” He dismissed Jisung quickly so he wouldn’t get into any more trouble.

The rest of the day was tense. No one had ever expected Jisung to initiate violence against someone, so no one really understood what set him off. The other kids didn’t know he was friends with Hyunjin since they thought he was so weird. They didn’t pay much attention to him because he didn’t talk. 

Jisung and Hyunjin stayed behind as the teacher called in his mother who had been waiting outside. 

“Mrs. Han, I hope I haven’t interrupted anything important. We need to talk about Jisung’s behavior in class today.” The teacher started. His mother raised an eyebrow as she waited for the teacher to continue. 

“Today he wrestled another student and kicked him rather hard. This is very unlike Jisung.” 

“Did you ask why he did it?” Mrs. Han said, looking at her son from the corner of her eye. She knew Jisung wouldn’t do something so drastic without reason.

“Well, no-”

“What happened today for you to do that, Jisung?” Mrs. Han cut the teacher off and turned to Jisung, waiting for his explanation.

“He was saying mean things to Hyunjin and pushed him out of his chair. He kicked him in his chest and stomach a lot too. He was mean to my friend and I wanted to help.” Jisung said confidently. He knew it wasn’t the best thing to do by jumping to violence, but it was the quickest way to solve the problem and help Hyunjin.

“Is this true, Hyunjin?” He only nodded at the teacher’s question. His body hurt from the hits he had taken. He knew he would be sore for several days to come.

“I’ll have to speak to him and his parents then as well. That doesn’t make what you did any better, Jisung. I know you wanted to protect Hyunjin, but you can’t solve everything with violence like this.” The teacher scolded.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

The three were released from her office, but they ran into another parent and child before Mrs. Han could say anything. 

“Is this Mrs. Kim’s room? I’m transferring my son into this class and I’m not sure if this is the right room.” The parent asked. 

“It is, would you like me to keep an eye on him while you register?” Mrs. Han offers immediately. 

“It would be a great help if you could.” She turned to her son that was standing next to her, “Felix? I’m going in for a few minutes, I’ll be right back. They’re going to keep you company, ok?” He nodded happily and immediately approached Hyunjin and Jisung. 

“I’m Felix! What are your names?” The boy asked rather loudly. His face was speckled in dark freckles that resembled stars, Hyunjin and Jisung found themselves trying to count them all.

“I’m Jisung, and this is Hyunjin.” He points slightly behind him since Hyunjin had taken to hiding behind Jisung when Felix approached. Hyunjin was still in some pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice it after seeing Felix’s smile.

“Nice to meet you guys, I hope we become good friends!” 

_Middle School: Sixth Grade_

Hyunjin wouldn't say he was happy about it, but he didn't really have a choice. The comfort of having Jisung in his classes has finally come to an end. They were put in two different rotations for classes, they didn't even sit near each other's tables for lunch. Hyunjin didn't want to have to open up to new people. He remembers seeing some of these faces from last year but not their names. The only one he felt right with was Felix.

Felix made the transition to middle school a lot easier. Since they shared all of their classes, they always had a partner for group assignments. Plus they didn’t have to sit next to new people. If there wasn’t such an obvious hole in their dynamic, they would have settled into this new setting immediately.

Hyunjin couldn’t wait to get home already, even if it was just the first day of school. 

Jisung, on the other hand, was alone. Well, obviously not _alone_ , but he didn’t have Felix and Hyunjin. He wasn’t necessarily shy but it was weird to be tossed in classes with lots of people he had never seen before. He was surrounded by so many girls almost drowning in sugary perfume that he swore he would faint. The only guy in sight was the one sitting to his left. He was much taller, easily several inches taller than Jisung who hadn’t quite hit a growth spurt. The guy had round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose but they kept sliding down since he refused to look up from his desk. Jisung reached over and tapped on his desk. 

“Hi! I’m Jisung, what’s your name?” Jisung for once tried to keep his volume quiet, mainly so the girls around him wouldn’t glare at him. 

The guy looked over with wide eyes like he didn’t expect Jisung to be talking to him. After a few seconds, the boy blushed deeply and turned his head away. 

“Seungmin, it’s nice to meet you Jisung.” He whispered quietly, Jisung almost didn’t hear him over the rustling of bookbags. 

“I hope we become great friends, Seungmin!” Jisung said with a hint of determination. He wouldn’t be alone after all. 

Jisung couldn’t wait to get home, he just wanted to see Hyunjin. 

“Jinnie!” Hyunjin had barely gotten out of the car before Jisung barreled into him for a hug, knocking them both down onto the grass. “I missed having my best friend around, I already hate it.” 

Hyunjin giggled at Jisung’s loud whining in his ear and danced his fingers alongside Jisung’s waist. The loud shriek was worth the laughter that Hyunjin got to hear. He had managed to miss his best friend more than ever in just eight hours. 

“How were your classes?” Hyunjin asked after Jisung rolled off of him. 

“Boring, but I think I made a friend today! His name is Seungmin. He’s tall too, probably taller than you.” Jisung teased. Hyunjin had grown to be a few inches taller than Jisung already, but it wasn’t a massive gap. 

“Then he’s a giant in comparison to you!” Hyunjin poked Jisung’s cheek as he pouted. He knew Jisung hated being on the shorter side, but he teased in good nature.

“Felix is in your classes, right?” 

“Yeah!”

“Good, you’re not alone,” Hyunjin said softly as he fiddled with the bracelet he and Jisung still shared.

\- - -

“Kill me now, Seungmin. I don’t have to do equations if I’m dead.” Jisung lamented from the floor. He invited over Seungmin to do homework before the weekend came. It turned out Seungmin was ridiculously smart, one of the top students Jisung had come to learn. So Seungmin usually helps Jisung in math. It’s not Jisung’s fault that someone had to put letters and numbers together. 

“What if at the gates of heaven you need to solve this equation, you’ll get turned away.” Seungmin had a small grin on his face, a smug expression being what Jisung has come to associate with Seungmin. 

“Whatever, can we take a break? I want a snack.” Jisung pulled himself up from the floor with a groan. “I’ve got a painting I need to finish before the quarter ends, it’s a test grade,” Jisung said in an effort to remind himself. 

“You chose art as your elective? I’m not gonna lie, I thought you chose band.” Seungmin said. The two made their way downstairs rather loudly to the refrigerator and kitchen cabinets. 

“Hyunjin and Felix chose band, I chose art, You chose chorus.” Jisung counted off on his fingers, he didn’t have the largest circle of friends but he loved them immensely. 

“I still haven’t met this Felix dude and I’ve been your friend for like six months now.” Seungmin was looking around in the cabinets. “Pop-tarts or Cheez-its?” 

“Cheez-its, duh. We’ll figure out how to meet all together soon! I promise.” Jisung exclaimed. Seungmin had easily gotten used to Jisung’s random bouts of loudness. He often yelled back in response even if he was quiet by nature. 

“When am I gonna met that upperclassmen friend of yours then? That Changbin guy you always talk about!” Jisung liked teasing Seungmin about him, his cheeks always turned pink when he was brought up in a conversation.

“I’ll figure out how to get you to meet him soon, ok? Now, let’s finish up with the Cheez-its and then finish the homework. The quicker it’s done, the quicker we can keep watching movies.” Seungmin bribed as he dragged Jisung back up the stairs, Cheez-its still in hand. 

\- - -

It was _finally_ winter break, a glorious three weeks without having to worry about schoolwork or classmates. Hyunjin had finished all of his projects early so he didn’t have to do anything for those three weeks. As soon as the final day of class was over, Jisung made his way over to Hyunjin’s house. The two hadn’t been able to hang out or even talk in over a week, and it felt like so much longer to them. 

“Hey, Mrs. Hwang! Jinnie’s upstairs right?” Jisung asked as he kicked his shoes off at the door. They each had a key to the other’s home, practically sharing houses at this point. 

“He is, you might wanna hurry though, he seems sleepy.” Mrs. Hwang warned in a teasing manner as she tossed Jisung a random pack of chips. Jisung would be forever grateful to Mrs. Hwang if she continued to buy his favorite chips. 

Jisung dashed up the stairs and boldly took two steps at a time. No one had to know he almost fell. 

Twice. 

He stopped outside Hyunjin’s door to see if he could hear anything. Since it was more or less silent, Jisung figured he had already fallen asleep. 

Hyunjin hadn’t even changed out of his clothes yet, even sleeping on top of the blankets he had. Jisung smothered his own laughter from how Hyunjin’s lips had a heavy pout in his sleep, making him look a bit like a fish. A cute one, but a fish nonetheless. Jisung quietly took off his sweatshirt and set it on the back on Hyunjin’s chair, putting the chips on the desk nearby. He figured a nap wasn’t such a bad idea.

Hyunjin was ridiculously warm and comfortable. Jisung hated being the shorter one of the two overall but being able to nestle easily to Hyunjin made it bearable. He laid his head on Hyunjin’s chest and fell asleep listening to his heartbeat. 

\- - -

Hyunjin waking up with a heavy weight across his body sent adrenaline through his veins. Something was seriously off. He rubbed his eyes a bit to clear his fuzzy vision a bit faster. 

Jisung had an arm and a leg thrown across Hyunjin, every inch of their bodies pressed closely together. 

Had Jisung ever been this warm? He felt like he was burning, and his heart refused to stop racing despite knowing the weight was Jisung. 

He figured he could ignore it, for now, it didn’t seem too important. 

Shaking Jisung by the shoulders was Hyunjin’s first attempt at waking him up. Jisung only squeezed Hyunjin tighter, mumbling incoherently. 

“Jisung, wake up. If we sleep all afternoon, we won’t sleep tonight.” Hyunjin tried yet again to wake up Jisung. 

“ _Jinnie,_ ” Jisung whined a bit louder than he should have, almost giving Hyunjin an immediate headache. 

Despite his best efforts, Hyunjin wasn’t able to wake up Jisung during that time. Instead, he settled back down next to Jisung and rolled the charm on Jisung’s bracelet between his fingers until he fell asleep.

_Middle School: Seventh Grade_

“We’re friends, right?” Seungmin asked Jisung. Seungmin was laying on Jisung’s bedroom floor, flat on his back. He was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt for the past few minutes.

“Of course? What’s wrong?” Jisung sat up as he was a bit worried, Seungmin never seems so uneasy. The younger sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He had been a bit off today.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?” He murmured. Jisung isn’t sure if _this_ is what’s bothering him, but he entertains the question anyway.

“Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t anything super serious but yeah. Why?”

“Was it a girl?” Seungmin cracked open one eye. Jisung hummed in confirmation, “Have you ever kissed a boy?”

Jisung figured that it was something related to _this_ that was bothering Seungmin.

“Yeah, playing spin the bottle makes that happen.” That’s really the only time Jisung’s ever kissed anyone. He hadn’t pursued any relationships yet, unlike a few of his classmates. 

He was at some older student’s birthday party when they had begun playing that game. Jisung and Felix decided to play, while Hyunjin went elsewhere. The boy he happened to kiss _was_ Felix, but they don’t talk about that if they don’t have to.

“Did it seem different to you?”

“To me? Not really, it was nice either way.” Jisung wasn’t going to lie to Seungmin who was obviously facing some inner turmoil.

“Oh.” Seungmin tried to end the conversation there as he pulled out his phone. Jisung’s answer didn’t seem to soothe him at all.

“Seungmin, tell me what’s wrong? I can’t help you if you talk yourself into a corner.”

“I kissed a girl the other day, from a dare. I didn’t like it at all. It felt disgusting.” Seungmin admitted as he dragged himself up into a sitting position. He still felt weirded out by the whole scenario. 

“Ah, but that’s not all is it?”

“I think I like Changbin.” Seungmin rushed out, his voice desperate, “More than a friend. But how would be kissing a boy be any different than kissing a girl? It seems weird regardless.” There was genuine confusion spread across his face.

“It comes down to preference. It might seem the same but in a way, it’s not. It’s different in a subtle way, mainly in your head. Like, you _knew_ you were kissing a girl. And subconsciously you might already know you don’t like girls. If you knew you were kissing a _boy_ , maybe it’d be better.” It seemed like a logical explanation. Jisung didn’t know if it was factual or not, but he wanted to ease Seungmin’s troubles. 

“Could you kiss me?” Jisung choked as he was trying to drink some water after his small monologue. This was something he never expected to happen. Seungmin’s eyes widened in panic as he registered what he said. “I mean, you don’t have to. I just- I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking-”

“Seungmin, calm down. It’s fine. Breathe.” Jisung slid off the bed to sit across from Seungmin. A hand on his shoulder to ground them both. “If you want me to, I’ll kiss you. I don’t see why it’d do anything to our friendship.” It did nothing to his and Felix’s, so he surely won’t let it happen between them. 

“Really? You don’t think it’s weird or anything?” Seungmin wanted reassurance that this wasn’t a bad thing. Jisung couldn’t blame him, he had always wanted transparency from others.

“It’ll only be weird if we make it weird. I don’t see a problem with it, so close your eyes okay?”

Seungmin’s glassy eyes fluttered shut. He didn’t want to leave Seungmin hanging, but he didn’t have to rush into it. He _definitely_ didn’t want to freak him out. In other words, Jisung was _mildly_ freaking out about how to approach this. Yet, he didn’t have time to panic.

Jisung tilted Seungmin’s chin upwards with his fingertips. He leaned in, slowly but surely. Stopping close enough that he knew his breath was fanning over Seungmin’s face, giving the other an opportunity to stop him. He cupped Seungmin’s cheek in one of his hands, resting his other on his shoulder again. 

“Object now or forever hold your peace,” Jisung whispered, yet with a dead-serious tone. Seungmin snorted harshly and wound up pulling back to let out a fit of giggles. 

“How do you expect me to kiss you with a straight face after saying that?” Seungmin’s smile was bright and slightly lopsided, those were always genuine.

“I wanted you to relax! Now come back up here before dinner’s ready and mom walks in on us making out on my floor.” Jisung joked. Seungmin pretended to gag but leaned back up anyway. 

It seemed natural for them to have met in the middle with a soft kiss. 

Jisung set a slow pace, it could barely be considered a kiss. Gentle pecks were exchanged, Jisung rubbing his thumb along Seungmin’s cheek. In return, Seungmin angled his head a bit more to the side and put his hand on the back of Jisung’s neck. It was short and sweet, nothing more than it needed to be when Jisung pulled away. 

He had to admit, Seungmin was cute with pink cheeks and puffy lips. 

“Thanks, Ji.” A contented smile pulling at Seungmin’s lips. Jisung knew he found whatever answer he was looking for.

“See what I mean?”

“Yeah, clearly.”

_Middle School: Eighth Grade _

“When am I gonna meet that Seungmo guy?” Felix asked Hyunjin who was trying to shove away all the mess that was in his room under his bed. He momentarily stopped what he was doing. He needed to clarify what Felix had just said. 

“Seung… mo?” 

“Isn’t that his name?” Felix decided to help clean by clearing up Hyunjin’s desk. He was really just reorganizing what was already on it.

“It’s Seungmin!” 

“What do you mean it’s Seungmin? You told me Seungmo!” Felix threw the first thing he could grab, a granola bar that was probably a year old, at Hyunjin’s head.

“You can’t hear.” Hyunjin threw it back at Felix after he caught it. It hit Felix’s chest, you could hear it break from how stale it was.

“That’s called selective hearing.” Felix put a hand on his hip, using the granola bar for emphasis on his words.

“That’s called being a little bitch.” Hyunjin mocked Felix’s tone.

“Hey!” Felix whined by smiled at the harmless teasing.

“Whatever, just make sure to not call him Seungmo to his face or he might just turn around and leave.” Hyunjin didn’t know Seungmin all that well, but the stories he’s heard from Jisung make him seem rather mischievous. 

“Gonna call him Seungmo.”

“Ring ding dong, Hwang!” They both heard from outside. Felix and Hyunjin immediately knew it was Jisung. He had been known to do this quite often. The origin of when it started was unclear, but he keeps it interesting with how he announces himself.

“Dude, just ring the doorbell!” Hyunjin leaned out his window to see Jisung and they who was speaking to him, who he supposes is Seungmin.

“Nah, I always do this.”

“I’m gonna disown you.”

“Alright, _mom,_ ” Jisung said, followed by a disappointed groan from Seungmin.

“Come inside, Lix and I will be down in a minute,” Hyunjin yelled back from the window to the two outside. He received two thumbs up before he went back to rush cleaning. 

Once he and Felix decided his room was clean enough, they headed downstairs. 

“Jisung! Long-time no see!” Felix grabs Jisung into a hug, picking him up from the ground. Jisung looks a bit disgruntled by it but doesn’t squirm away. 

“I saw you yesterday,” Jisung said once he was put back down. 

“Twenty four hours too long!” Felix fake sobbed, barely able to contain his laughter at himself. “Ah! You must be _Seungmo_!” 

Jisung immediately fell over in laughter, a very bright and genuine laugh. 

“You must be _Yongbok_!” Seungmin fired back with a hardly noticeable smirk. 

Felix stared at Seungmin for a minute before approaching him. 

“I like this one. We’re keeping him.” He wrapped an arm around Seungmin’s shoulders, dragging him down to match his own height.

“Stop being dramatic for a minute, Lix.” Hyunjin swatted Felix away from Seungmin. Felix then decided to join Jisung on the couch a few feet away. “I’m Hyunjin, I’ve heard a lot about you from Jisung.” 

“I hope good things, I play pranks on him all the time so he may want to curse me occasionally.” Seungmin softly chuckled and ran his hands through his hair, sighing as he looked at Jisung. 

“Just this morning, I switched out his cologne with some of that really strong cotton candy perfume. So that’s why he smells like he bathed in sugar.” Seungmin genuinely enjoyed the small pranks he played on Jisung. He didn’t take it personally and usually had great reactions, laughing along with Seungmin once it’s over. 

“Minnie! You with that dude yet?” Jisung called from the couch. Seungmin immediately flushed but looked concerned. Jisung seemed to notice his hesitation, “They’re not gonna judge you at all. I have open-minded friends thankfully.” 

Seungmin’s shoulders sagged in relief. 

“Actually, I may or may not have asked him out myself?” Seungmin slowly turned to see Jisung’s reaction. 

“ _You_ asked out a senior? Unprompted? The confidence!” Jisung and Felix both gave thunderous applause, Hyunjin only delivering a small congratulations since it wasn’t really his thing.

“Wait, what? Upperclassman? Who? Is he cute? Does he-” Jisung slapped a hand over Felix’s mouth since he continued to ramble. 

“I wanna know how this happened!” Jisung said excitedly, waving over Hyunjin and Seungmin to join them on the couch. 

“So, we’ve been friends for about two years now? We had the same elective so we were able to share a class despite him being in a higher grade.” Seungmin started, but Jisung already had to call a time-out. 

“You're telling me, he was in _chorus_?” 

“Yes, Jisung. Anyway, I was struggling with reading the sheet music so he decided to help me out. We became really good friends and started hanging out. Then out of nowhere, I suddenly had a fat crush on Changbin.” Seungmin said casually. Felix’s eyes widened comically.

“Wait, _Seo_ Changbin? I’ve seen him around and he’s pretty damn hot.” Seungmin’s eyebrow shot up, “Don’t kill me, Seungmin.” Felix quickly added. 

“I kinda panicked. I didn’t know if I liked guys at all but Jisung helped me figure that out.” Jisung only waggled his brows, knowing not to say anything. “About a year or so _after_ that, so present day, we were at the arcade since we decided to hang out all day. I slipped up and said he was cute out loud.” Seungmin turned red remembering how embarrassed he felt at that moment. 

“That’s cute though. You don’t really say stuff like that out loud all that often, so to say it so randomly means a lot.” Jisung pointed out. Seungmin wasn’t verbally affectionate, and he wasn’t the most open with his emotions. You had to learn what his signs were for how he was feeling, and learn how he showed his affection. 

“I guess you’re right.” Seungmin had a soft smile on his face as he continued, “It surprised him and he was like _You think I’m cute?_ So I pretty much went with a ‘now or never moment’ and asked him out on the spot.” 

“Why can’t I be that brave?” Hyunjin honestly couldn’t imagine asking out anyone he liked. It was intimidating and made you vulnerable, two things he didn’t really care for. 

“How did he react?” Felix was heavily invested in the retelling. 

“He asked me a few times if I meant it, but he told me he had been interested for a while. I’m really happy it’s been a smooth transition so far, though. I was worried it would be awkward for a while.” 

“Going from friends to boyfriends does have to be odd, trying to relearn what you can and can’t do with that person? At least I assume that’s how it feels.” Hyunjin thought aloud.

“No, you’re right! You second guess a lot of things until you decide to just go for it, and if the other doesn’t like it they should just be able to talk to you about it.” Seungmin seemed like he had thought on this very topic for a while. 

“Well boys, when are we gonna get dates?” Jisung wrapped Hyunjin and Felix into tight hugs, laughing loudly.

Seungmin definitely saw himself sticking by these three for a long time.

_High School: Freshman Year_

“Jihyo? Can we talk?” Hyunjin asked as he sat across from Jihyo at the kitchen table. He offered to come over and help Jihyo with the baking she wanted to do, but she was doing some last-minute chores before they started. However, Hyunjin needed to talk about this before he felt like combusting. 

“Of course! What’s up?” She closed her book and put her focus on Hyunjin. 

He could see how tired she was, her short hair looked a bit frazzled and the darkness under her eyes seemed never-ending. He hopes the rest of the semester goes easier on her. 

“I- It’s- I’m not sure how to start.” He muttered, he felt helpless. He fiddled with the charm from his old bracelet, that was now on a necklace.

“It’s alright, we have plenty of time. Just start wherever you like, and go from there!”

“I’ve been… thinking. At my age, everyone starts crushing, dating, and even having sex, and I felt behind. So I started trying to pay attention to girls more, seeing if someone caught my eye. The ones that wound up confessing to me were super sweet for the most part, anyone could love them. But as time went on when I was dating one of them… I didn’t really feel anything? It felt like I was just in a relationship to have the title. When we first kissed, it felt like nothing. No spark, no fuzzy feeling, just nothing.” Hyunjin shifted around before continuing, Jihyo still had her gaze locked on him. 

“So I just thought it was nerves and kept going. That was such a stupid mistake. She wanted to get handsy really quickly but I immediately felt disgusted. I told her and I’m _so_ thankful she wasn’t angry or upset. I got to thinking about it, and realized that I never felt anything towards girls.” 

“Do you like boys?” Jihyo asked as if she could sense his growing discomfort. 

“I think I do,” Hyunjin admitted softly. It was the first time he’d ever said it out loud.

“What makes you think that?” She intended to sound encouraging, but to Hyunjin it felt like she was mocking him. 

“What makes me _think that?_ ” Hyunjin stood up, he felt angry and cheated. He could always trust Jihyo, why can’t he now?

“Hyunjin, that’s not what I meant! I-”

“What the hell else could you mean? You find it disgusting, don’t you? Just how everyone else at that fucking school does. You wanna make fun of me too?” Hyunjin growled and pushes past her. 

“What the fuck? Hyunjin get back here! Let me-” Jihyo called out after him.

“I should’ve known better than to ask you! I thought I could trust you but here you are, _judging_ me.” Hyunjin rushes to leave, but Jihyo grabs his arms and digs her heels into the carpet. He keeps tugging, trying to free his arm. He’s much taller and overall stronger than Jihyo is, but a woman fueled by anger or fear is no match for him.

“Goddamnit, Hyunjin, _listen to me!_ ” Jihyo screamed in a final effort. It scared Hyunjin to a stop, he’d never heard her raise her voice. She was always so soft-spoken, but here she is begging for Hyunjin to stop. He could see tears threatening to fall from her eyes and he suddenly realized how quick he was to get scared.

“You always try to handle things on your own, you’re strong Hyunjin, you are. That doesn’t mean you’re invincible! I wasn’t judging you, I just wanted to make sure you and I fully understood each other!” Her voice was firm, but Hyunjin found comfort in it regardless. 

“I’m sorry, I just- I’m scared, Jihyo.” Hyunjin collapsed onto the couch, dropping his head between his hands. He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes in an effort to stop the tears, but choked sobs and shaking shoulders gave him away first. 

Jihyo settled down next to Hyunjin and hugged him gently, she swayed to and fro, much how she would soothe Hyunjin when they were kids. 

“I know, Jinnie. You’re so strong through, you’ve been through so much dealing with classmates and now this. Coming to terms with who you love is hard when everyone seems so against it. I’ll let you in on a little secret though. My parents don’t know, Jisung doesn’t, just you.” Jihyo held Hyunjin’s face between her hands gently wiping his tears. 

“You know how you like boys? I like boys _and_ girls. I’d been trying to come to terms with myself for a while. I always heard bisexuality was just a phase, or I was being too indecisive. I feel so much better after allowing myself to become comfortable with this. It feels right to tell the people I love now. I’m confident in who I am and who I love. I’m not suddenly a different person, I’m the same Jihyo you’ve always known,” She said with a small smile, “I’m proud of you for being able to understand how you feel. Hell, I was confused up until a few months ago.” She giggled as she pulled Hyunjin into a hug again. 

“Just know that if for some reason you feel the whole world is against you, you’ll always have me.” Hyunjin relished in the feeling of being _loved._ Jihyo was pretty much the older sister Hyunjin never had. A fresh set of tears ran down his face but it was because he knew he was safe with Jihyo. He would eventually tell Jisung, but not right now. It didn’t feel like it was the right time.

\- - -

Seungmin can’t exactly tell you what lead up to this, he’s not entirely sure what is happening either. All he can see and hear when he comes into the room is screaming and crying.

“Get a hold of yourself! Can’t you do something on your own for once?” Jisung yelled as he stood up from the couch. Hyunjin’s cheeks were flooded with tears but you could still see the anger radiating from him.

“I try! I do try to do things on my own, but here you come, telling me what I’m doing wrong and not even telling me why? Do you know how much that hurts? Every fucking time I’m doing something it’s _Oh Hyunjin, That’s not right_ or _Hyunjin, why are you doing that wrong_ , and you don’t bother to do anything about it!” Hyunjin’s voice resonated, he never felt the need to yell. However, rationality wasn’t a priority.

“Why would I bother telling you if you won’t fix it anyway?” Jisung sneered, a light snarl tugging at his lips.

“The fuck do you mean?” Hyunjin said calmly and quietly. Seungmin didn’t like the sudden change from yelling to an extreme calm. He knew this could get even uglier in an instant.

“You’re too fucking _stupid_ to do things on your own. You need people to tell-”

“Han Jisung if you don’t shut the fuck up right now.” Seungmin jumped from the voice behind him, it was Felix. He had known the two longer than Seungmin, and he was pissed.

“You’ve said enough. Now get out before you completely ruin your friendship.” Felix must have been threatening enough because Jisung stormed out of the house, and slammed the door behind him. 

“Jinnie, come here.” Felix’s voice was suddenly soft and welcoming. Hyunjin’s resolve finally crumbled as he fell into Felix’s arms with a heart-wrenching sob.

Seungmin quickly shot Changbin a text that he wouldn’t make it to their date, Hyunjin needed support.

Hyunjin and Jisung had never gotten into a fight like this. The bickering was normal for the two since they’ve grown up together. This was personal, and Jisung went too far.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Seungmin finally spoke as he hugged Hyunjin’s waist from behind while he was still clinging to Felix. Hyunjin’s shoulders were shaking as he tried to calm himself down. 

“I was trying to write my essay, and something didn’t sound right. So I asked him his opinion and he just went off. Saying how I couldn’t even think for myself. He sounded just like them.” Hyunjin continued to cry as Felix wiped away his tears. Several minutes pass as they just sit in each other’s company.

Seungmin looks up to see Changbin quietly entering from the front door. He had a large fast-food bag in his hand that he set on the table. Changbin must have been close when he had to cancel. Seungmin could see there was a note attached to it. With that, Changbin left just as quietly. He would get to the note in a minute. 

“He’s come to hate me now, hasn’t he?” Hyunjin said, voice completely shot. It was hoarse and gravely, who knows how long they had been yelling at each other before Seungmin had arrived.

“No, there’s no way he hates you. Nothing he said about you was true. The other people just want to knock you down. Sungie will come around. I’m not sure why he said what he said, but he had no reason to cross that line at all. I’m sorry you had to hear all of that from your best friend.” Seungmin soothed. 

“I’ll try and talk to him later about it. Not now, and probably not tomorrow. But I will at some point.” Hyunjin said with as much confidence as he could muster. The bag by the door caught his attention. 

“Whose food is that?” He asks as he gets up to interrogate the bag. He pulls the note from the bag and read it out loud.

“ _Jinnie, I’m not sure what’s going on or what I can do to help. Just know I’m always a phone call away. You’re important to me just like the others. Take care and have something to eat. It’s not a five-star meal, but it’s food to enjoy with your friends. -Changbin”_

And with that, a few fresh tears slip down Hyunjin’s cheeks. He didn’t think he was close enough to the older to ever reach out, but seeing this note warmed his heart so much. 

“Your boyfriend is a sappy romantic. He’s sweeping everyone off their feet.” Felix joked lightly. It earned a small laugh from Hyunjin and a loud smack from Seungmin. 

“Shut it, Lix. Let’s eat!” 

\- - -

It’s been weeks. Maybe six weeks total now that Hyunjin and Jisung haven’t spoken. Hyunjin’s past the stage of sadness, and has pent up anger. He’s angry that Jisung would ever say that to him, whether he meant it or not. He’s also decided he won’t be the one to approach Jisung, he’s not the one who was wrong in that situation. 

Jisung wasn’t faring much better but in the opposite manner. He was angry at Hyunjin when it first happened but started to feel more guilty as the days went on. He couldn’t bear to face Hyunjin with all the guilt he’s carrying. 

Seungmin, Changbin, and Felix were tired of it. 

The only time they could all talk during the day, was lunch. The five don’t share a common class, but some pairs do. 

The three went to try and find Jisung and Hyunjin, in an attempt to resolve this once and for all. 

Jisung was sitting at a different table. He was with Jaemin, Haechan, Jeno, and several other athletes. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem to interact with people like them. However, they are the very ones that mock Hyunjin every chance they get. 

Felix and Changbin felt their blood boil, Seungmin was the only one that was calm and rational. So he knew he had to handle Jisung on his own. He walked around the table to get to him and leaned down close to his ear. 

“If you don’t come with us, I’m not holding back Changbin and Felix,” Seungmin warns. He doesn’t turn back to see Jisung’s face as he exits the cafeteria. The three standing outside in the main lobby, waiting to see if Jisung comes. 

When they were getting ready to leave the scene after waiting so long. they finally see Jisung leave the table and make his way out as he navigated through the crowd of people. 

“What’s up?” Jisung tries to breach cautiously. Felix lunged for him but was pulled back by Changbin. They couldn’t cause a scene out here with the teachers around. 

“What’s _up_? Why are you hanging out with those assholes? The same ones that make Hyunjin’s life hell? The ones that ruined the last bit of self-esteem he had?” Felix settled on saying instead of a punch. To Jisung, those words might have hurt more. 

“I didn’t know where else to sit.”

“Bullshit. You could sit anywhere you wanted to because everyone loves you. You have the whole fucking school on your side no matter what you do. Hyunjin has us. Everyone treats him as if he’s some freak. He had nowhere to go since people only left him alone if you were around. He doesn’t even stay in the cafeteria anymore.” Changbin barked back. Jisung had no clue.

“Where is he?” 

“Why would we tell you? You haven’t made an effort to speak to him yet. Why now?” Seungmin pushed. He wanted to know exactly why Jisung was wasting so much time. 

“He doesn’t want to see me. I crossed every line I shouldn’t have.” They could clearly see the guilt in Jisung’s eyes, but that didn’t make the situation any better.

“Jisung you’re his best friend, just... _please_ apologize. Let him tell you whether he wants to see you or not. You won’t know until you try.” Seungmin reasoned. He was tired of the strain is was putting on all of them. 

“Fine! Just tell me where he is, there’s still time left before lunch is over.” Jisung cracks under their stares and takes the direction from them. 

Jisung makes his way to the library, managing to avoid all the teachers ready to jump you for not having a hall pass. He was nervous. This had been the longest amount of time they had gone without seeing each other at all. 

They started leaving for school at different times, and Hyunjin was coming home later as well. They didn’t move back and forth between their houses like they usually did, they stayed in their own homes and didn’t cross paths. Jisung hasn’t even _seen_ Hyunjin the past six weeks. 

He takes the steps two at a time to try and get to the second level faster. It’s where all the fiction books were, and he knew Hyunjin loves those the most. 

Jisung stops dead in his tracks, unsure why his heart is racing at the sight of Hyunjin. There’s nothing spectacularly different about him. His hair is a bit longer, he’s probably due for a haircut soon. Hyunjin’s wearing a large grey sweatshirt and black joggers, literally nothing special. 

Yet why is his heart racing?

He can’t think about that as he approaches Hyunjin with light steps, not wanting to scare him while he’s reading. Hyunjin sees his shadow shift and looks up from his chair. Being this close it was obvious to tell Hyunjin was tired. He was covering his dark circles with makeup in an attempt to hide it. Jisung didn’t even know he had makeup. Maybe that changed over these six weeks. 

Six weeks doesn’t seem like a lot of time, but without your best friend, it seems like an eternity.

“Hey, can we talk?” Jisung treads lightly. He wants to remain calm and not have this blow-up. Hyunjin nods and closes his book, gesturing for him to sit down. “I wanted to apologize.” 

Hyunjin takes a long breath in through his nose as he thinks of what to say. Jisung isn’t sure if he should be worried or not.

“Okay, apologize.” Was all Hyunjin said to him. Jisung knew he needed to voice everything he had been thinking lately.

“I can’t take back what I said, those words came from my mouth and I can’t take it back. But I can tell you I didn’t mean it, I was so worked up for no reason that I wanted a reaction,” Jisung sighed and ran his hands through his hair nervously, “ I thought hurting you would make my anger disappear but it didn’t. It only upset me. I, of all people, shouldn’t have said those things to you because I know how much you hate it. I’m so sorry, Hyunjin.” Jisung’s volume faded as he came to an end. Hyunjin’s eyes cut through him with a cold glare. 

“Why were you worked up?” He asked.

“I guess it was stress? I had due dates coming up too, and I didn’t manage my time well. It was my own fault.” Jisung reassured. 

Hyunjin sat back in his chair, glancing away from Jisung as he thought. For the next few moments, Jisung swore everyone in the library could hear his heartbeat. 

“You hurt me, Jisung. It hurt worse when you said that than when anyone else said it.” Hyunjin’s eyes turned glossy. Jisung felt his heart start to break. 

“I’ve known you all my life though, you’re so important to me. Much more than you realize you are. Let’s try and work through this roadblock together.” Hyunjin tried to smile, but the tears in his eyes made him seem resigned. 

“We can do that,” Jisung said, genuinely happy that this went as smoothly as it did. 

“Now hug me, damn it,” Hyunjin said before he really did start crying. 

Jisung nearly leaped from his chair to fit into Hyunjin’s arms. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck. He felt a lot more relaxed now that he had his best friend with him. Hyunjin had always felt safe and comforting to Jisung. 

It was reassuring that Hyunjin was still wearing that necklace, but Jisung was too. 

Although, he’s still a bit confused as to why his heart began to race again and why his face felt hot.

_High School: Sophomore Year_

“You’ve got all these cute girls asking you out, and I’ve only seen you _kinda_ date one.” Jisung blurted out while they were watching a movie. Hyunjin turned to look at Jisung to see if he heard him right, just to see Jisung staring back at him. It wasn’t a condescending look, but one truly of curiosity. 

“What are you hinting at?” Hyunjin turned to fully face Jisung as he stared him down. He was scared to tell Jisung, he had no clue about Jisung’s preferences. He hasn’t dated or even crushed on anyone for as far as Hyunjin knows. However, he _knows_ Jisung is accepting because of Seungmin and Changbin. 

“Do you just not want to date or…” Jisung trailed off and he broke eye contact. Hyunjin could tell Jisung was nervous, he usually isn’t the one to trail off unless he’s being careful.

“What does _or_ mean, Jisung? I’m not a mind reader.” Hyunjin had a feeling he knew what Jisung was hinting at, but was he ready to tell him? Did he really want to strain their friendship because Hyunjin knew and accepted that he didn’t like women which was the norm?

“Never mind, it’s fine. Let’s keep watching.” Jisung resettled into the couch but Hyunjin reached over and clicked pause. Jisung’s attention was directed to Hyunjin from that point on, and he had a choice. Let it go, or tell him now while he had the courage.

_Now or Never._

“I’m gay, Jisung.”

Hyunjin wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he was supposed to be looking for, but the silence was killing him regardless. Jisung’s eyes met his like he was looking for the truth. When Jisung seemed satisfied a comfortable smile found its way to his lips. 

“I’m glad you told me, now I can set you up with all the hot guys I happen to come across!” Jisung said as he clicked play on the movie. Hyunjin felt immediately relieved, not caring in the slightest that Jisung wants to set him up with someone.

Jisung knowing _and_ supporting Hyunjin made him feel stronger than ever.

“So you’re not… weirded out? Your best friend of years suddenly admitting he’s gay?” Hyunjin asked, just to make sure he could get his hopes up on feeling perfectly safe. Jisung sat up straight, speaking before Hyunjin could grow nervous.

“No, not at all! Seungmin has a boyfriend. Changbin and Seungmin make a cute couple, regardless if they’re both dudes. They love each other, that’s all that matters.” Jisung said as if it were a fact. 

Hyunjin could feel himself getting emotional, but it was due to happiness. Jisung could see it too and tackled Hyunjin into a suffocating hug. 

“You big baby, I’ll be with you regardless of who you choose to be with, Hyunjin.” 

He gripped Jisung even tighter, trying to ignore the way his chest tightens at the words. 

He enjoys the way Jisung fits into his arms as the younger tucks his head under Hyunjin’s chin. He loved how secure Jisung felt, despite him being tiny within his hold. Hyunjin can’t exactly remember when he suddenly grew so much taller than Jisung, but he was thankful for the height difference in moments like this.

He knows what he’s beginning to feel towards Jisung, and he’s too scared to admit it.

\- - -

Hyunjin feels like he’s being replaced. 

Jisung isn’t coming over as often, leaving school a bit earlier, smiling at his phone _constantly_. He wants to be happy for him, but his heart tightens in pain every time Jisung cancels a plan. One day, it seems like Seungmin had enough of being ignored too. 

“Jisung? Are you seeing someone?” He blurted out one day at lunch. Hyunjin nearly choked on the sandwich he was eating, but Seungmin’s bluntness shouldn’t have been a surprise. Changbin sighs at his boyfriend's antics though. 

What bothers Hyunjin before Jisung even says anything, is that his cheeks turn red with a beautiful smile attached. He had an answer before Jisung ever opened his mouth.

“Kind of? We’ve been talking a lot and I really like him. We’re going on a date for the first time this weekend!” Jisung seemed genuinely excited. The smile never leaving his face. Seungmin and Felix cheer him on, and Changbin gives him a high five. All Hyunjin can muster is a weak smile and a thumbs-up. 

It was nice knowing that Jisung did have an interest in guys, but it hurt as well.

It hurt, knowing someone you love finds happiness in someone else. He wants to be angry and upset, but the radiance Jisung has prevented him from that at this moment. Hyunjin only wants Jisung to be happy, and if he’s happy with someone else, then he will try to move on. 

Felix seems to notice his wariness but doesn’t say anything in front of Jisung for the rest of lunch.

Hyunjin and Felix walk from lunch to their next class together, they both hate history but it can’t be helped since it’s a requirement to graduate.

“What was up at lunch? You seemed off.” Felix breaks the ice. 

“Uh, it’s ridiculous,” Hyunjin groans, “I like Jisung so much. So fucking much that I want to be sad he doesn’t want me, but I can’t since he’s happy.” 

Felix did not seem to expect this response. His eyes widen in surprise and blinks a few times as he processes what Hyunjin said. Felix really never saw this happening.

“Jinnie, how long?” 

“A few years now? I only realized what I was feeling recently though. I’m so lame falling in love with my best friend, aren’t I?” Hyunjin scoffs with a self-deprecating smirk. He runs his hands down his face as he tries to lift up his own spirits around everyone else. Felix caught on quickly, perceptive as ever.

“No! It happens that way sometimes. Why did you never make a move?” Felix dragged Hyunjin into the nearest bathroom. He didn’t particularly want to learn about the Bill of Rights anyways. Felix found Hyunjin’s emotions more important. 

“Do you see me? I’ve never been on a date, I’ve never confessed, I’ve never been in a real relationship. Do you think I can put away this fear and just _confess_? It’s not that simple!” Hyunjin drags his hands down his face yet again in frustration, mainly aimed at himself. 

“Jisung and I have been friends since we were five. If I were to confess to Jisung, it might not affect him at all, but I would be too much of a coward to face him again. It’s so selfish of me, but I can’t confess. I just _can’t,_ Lix.” Hyunjin felt overwhelmed by suddenly spilling out his emotions like this, “Jisung has been in my life for as long as I can remember. I’m not letting feelings ruin that for me.”

Felix dragged him into a hug, thinking before he speaks up. 

“You have such a warm heart, Jinnie. People love you for you and everything you stand for. So does Jisung. Jisung would never let something come between you two again. I just wish you would have confessed and taken some weight off your shoulders. But I get it, I really do. I’ll be with you, cheering you on. I want you to be happy too.” Felix encouraged softly into Hyunjin’s ear. He didn’t want to give him false hope or talk him down. 

“Why couldn’t I have fallen for you? This would’ve been so much easier.” Hyunjin’s voice is strained and hoarse in an effort not to cry. 

“We weren’t meant to be. I’ll always be by your side, though.” Felix laughed softly while he hugged Hyunjin tighter before letting go.

“Let’s get to class, Jin.”

\- - -

“Jinnie! The date went nicely! He’s so sweet and cute. I really hope this works, you know?” Jisung called once he arrived back home from his date. Hyunjin had told him to call instead of coming over as he planned to, he couldn’t lie right to Jisung's face just yet. 

“I’m happy for you, Ji. I hope he treats you well. Tell me if he doesn’t and he’ll have to deal with me.” Hyunjin said in a teasing tone but meant every word. If he hurts Jisung, he’ll have hell to pay.

“Alright, alright. I will. I’m super tired though so I’m gonna go on to bed. Goodnight, Hyunjin!” Jisung said sweetly, Hyunjin could hear the smile. 

“Good night, Jisung.” 

Hyunjin’s heart fell through his stomach as he ended the call. It was suddenly so real that Jisung was really invested in this guy. Hyunjin knew he had to set aside his feelings for Jisung, but he wasn’t sure if he could while being so close. The only way he could is if he distanced himself, but he doesn’t want to hurt Jisung at all. 

Hyunjin decided it would be best to suffer a broken heart alone. 

_High School: Junior Year_

A new day, a new letter. 

At some point, everyone’s opinion of Hyunjin changed.

It went from thinking we was a freak, to everyone thinking he was just a pretty face. He had changed majorly during the last year, getting taller and maturing quickly. He hated that he was just getting attention for how _pretty_ he was.

Hyunjin was used to it and the letters this point, though. The pretty letters that are carefully decorated, the beautiful handwriting, plus the faint smell of perfume. The cute love letters were sweet to receive at first, and even now some of the girls that plant them in his locker approach him. 

They’re shy and sweet, fumbling over their words and playing with their nails. Hyunjin honestly feels like an ass half the time he tells them no. But, they don’t take it too personally. They stop leaving him the letters, but now have the courage to wave in the hall or speak. These girls simply enjoy his aura, Hyunjin finds that many of them realize later that all they wanted was to get closer to him in general. 

They’re also sleazy and demanding, biting their lips and grabbing his arms. He’s used to the promises of an _amazing time_ and finds them hilarious. He knows there’s empty janitor closets, he knows some girls have a master key to the building, he also knows some have cars they love to defile. He doesn’t hesitate to cap them off, a cold rejection and tear of their letter leave them feeling like their trophy rejected them. Because that’s all those girls ever saw him as. 

Today is no different. He’s gotten pretty good at deciphering what girl pairs with what letter. The one in his hands is a deep color, already looking like it was going to be a tough one to get rid of. 

He opens it and is assaulted by the intense smell of overly floral perfume. He can see it’s directly sprayed onto the paper, due to the stains from the alcohol. The handwriting is a little less careful, the word choice is sloppy and predictable. He puts the letter back in the envelope, giving his nose a much-welcomed break. His eyes were watery from the perfume, but that goes away quickly. It’s still better than the one perfume he’s allergic to, which he swears every girl in the building knows which it is so they don’t leave it again.

He already knows what type of girl he’s going to see when he shuts his locker. Hyunjin sends a quick text to his small group chat asking for backup. 

With a deep sigh to collect himself, Hyunjin closes his locker. The girl stood next to him was exactly what he expected. She reeked of smoke and alcohol, her shirt tugged down much further than it was ever meant to go, and her makeup didn’t match _at all_. 

Call Hyunjin a snob, but usually, the girls that mean well either wear no makeup, or it’s very precisely applied like it was a special day. This girl had barely taken the time to brush her hair based on the messy bun that’s sat on her head. 

“Can I help you?” Hyunjin asks, seeing his Felix come down the hall in the distance. He was actually running, his now lavender hair moving in time with his steps. Hyunjin forced himself to look back at the girl across from him.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to get out of here.” The girl twirled her hair around her finger. 

“No, thank you,” Hyunjin said, turning away the girl wraps her fingers around his wrist. 

“I think we have enough time before class that I can-”

“Hyunjin! Where have you been? You know Seungmin wanted to grab breakfast this morning!” Felix slapped Hyunjin’s back, it stung for sure. He thinks it might leave a bruise. 

However, he knows it’s his cue.

“I forgot, I’m so sorry. We can go now, there’s still enough time before class.” Hyunjin smirked to himself, seeing the girl huff and walk away. “Thank you. I mean it, Felix. Where’s Seungmin anyway?”

The two started to homeroom before Felix answered. 

“Not too sure, I think he’s helping Changbin with tutoring though. You do know you’re going to have to start being a bit more forceful with girls like that. What if it gets physical?” Felix asked, sounding genuinely worried. 

“I don’t think it will, at least for now. Let’s just get to class faster, I hate everyone looking at me. The whole campus knows I get the love letters.” Hyunjin hung his head low in an effort to hide from the judging eyes. 

“Alright, let’s go. I’ll guide you.” Felix interlocked their arms and picked up his pace. 

Hyunjin would be forever thankful to Felix, had it not been for him shoving girls away to being with, Hyunjin would have never had the confidence to start rejecting them. 

Felix was a lot to take in if you didn’t know him. He was loud, charming, talented, and extremely intelligent. He loved texting late at night when neither can sleep, exchanging only memes and no actual words have become their thing during these late-night chats. 

Hyunjin really does wish it was Felix he fell for, it would have been so much easier.

\- - -

"Jinnie! Why won't you cuddle with me?" Jisung whined from the middle of the bed. Hyunjin was sitting in his desk chair facing away from the bed. Seeing Jisung in his own bed wasn't the best for his heart right now. 

"I've got work I need to do, Sung." 

In reality, he didn't have to finish this work until next month. Jisung didn't need to know that.

"It's been weeks since we took a nap together. Take a break and join me?" Jisung proposed cutely.

Hyunjin finally swiveled the chair around to face Jisung and Hyunjin was sure he would die of a heart attack right there. 

Hyunjin was right to assume Jisung was in the middle of his bed, it’s where he always laid if Hyunjin wasn’t with him. Jisung did make himself comfortable and stripped out of his clothes, replacing his shirt with one of Hyunjin’s. His hair was messy and sticking out in every direction, making him look soft and sweet. He was pouting in an effort to bribe Hyunjin into a nap. Hyunjin couldn’t help his eyes scanning down Jisung’s body. 

Jisung was slender but toned, and his skin always glowed in the sunlight. His legs were fully exposed and Hyunjin _really_ knew he shouldn’t be thinking about how nice they would feel under his hands. Rationality goes out the window sometimes. 

It had been a while since they last decided to take a nap together. A year or so ago Hyunjin wouldn’t have been bothered, slipping right underneath the blankets and pulling Jisung to his chest. It’s what they’ve always done. 

It’s different now. Hyunjin’s feelings are involved. His skin burns when Jisung touches him in any way and he doesn’t think he can handle cuddling with Jisung. He’s fallen hard for the younger. It wasn’t a slow process. A few years ago the feelings were there, but he could deny them a bit. Now, he knew how much he truly liked Jisung. 

Jisung didn’t return his feelings though.

Jisung still had a boyfriend. 

“I know Ji, but you could just call your boyfriend and go cuddle with him.” Hyunjin manages to say with a level voice. Jisung whined while he stretched, the shirt creeping dangerously high on his thighs. 

“Quite frankly, I don’t want my boyfriend right now. I want to cuddle with _you,_ Hyunjin. That’s why I’m here, in _your_ bed, waiting for _you_ to come and cuddle _me._ ” Jisung emphasized. Hyunjin sighed and closed his books. There wasn’t much use in denying Jisung something when he’s demanding. Hyunjin was thankful he was already in something comfortable so he didn’t have to deal with Jisung watching him change. 

Jisung shimmied under the blankets with an excited smile as Hyunjin walked over to the bed. Jisung reached out and tugged Hyunjin down next to him. It didn’t take long for Jisung to tuck his head under Hyunjin’s chin and throw a leg over his hips. 

Hyunjin’s heart was racing, but the warmth from Jisung settled him down. He found himself dozing off much faster than he anticipated. Maybe he could keep his feelings at bay.

_High School: Senior Year_

“Seungmin has a date and Jisung has a date. Jinnie? Looks like it’s you and me tonight.” Felix said as he threw a tie at Hyunjin. “We need to match. Just wear a blue tie and it’ll match my blue vest.” 

It was senior prom night and the four had spent the whole day together getting ready. Hyunjin tugged off the black tie he was wearing to replace it with the other. He didn’t expect it to look perfect since he was wearing an all-black suit and now a powder blue tie. He did steer clear of all furniture, he did not want to get any dust or lint on this suit and spend the next twenty minutes trying to get it all off. 

“Jisung! I need the eyeliner too!” He heard Seungmin yell from the other bathroom. They were all at Hyunjin’s house in an attempt to get ready. His mom decided to stay in the living room so they could do what they needed to do. 

“I’m busy making it even!” Jisung yelled back, “You’re lucky I’m done already.” 

He stepped out to bring it to Seungmin, and Hyunjin’s jaw nearly dropped. 

Jisung opted for an all-whitesuit, and ironically enough, a dark blue tie. 

Hyunjin had no clue Jisung looked this good in white. He seemed to be glowing against the fabric, making him almost hard to look at. Jisung’s hair was impeccably styled as well. He had recently dyed his hair a navy blue since he was bored with his look. Hyunjin loved his hair this color more than he probably should.

All of this together did bad things to Hyunjin’s heart. He wanted to shower him in compliments and kiss his nose because of the cute look on his face, but that wasn’t his job. 

Jisung was with Minho now. He and his last boyfriend had parted ways after he transferred, they both decided it was the best option. 

Hyunjin moved to the side so Jisung could finally give Seungmin the eyeliner he was yelling for. However, he came back shortly after to shuffle around the kitchen for food. 

Felix was already kicked back in one dining room chair with his feet propped on another, eating from a bag of spicy chips. He too did not want to use a lint roller more than necessary. He even went the extra measure to wear latex gloves to avoid the dust sticking to his fingers. 

Felix’s suit was a bit more extravagant. A mix of navy and powder blue, as well as black and white. Hyunjin would normally think it was a busy combo and would and clash. Felix managed to make it work. 

“Are those the last of the chips?” Jisung asks Felix. He shakes his head and points back at the cabinet he got them from. 

Hyunjin’s mom still had a chip stash. It grew from just Hyunjin’s, then to Jisung’s, and now includes Seungmin, Changbin, and Felix’s choice.

Jisung brought out two bags, one for him and Hyunjin since he noticed him standing in the large walkway. 

“You done with your makeup?” Jisung asked as he peered closely at Hyunjin. Jisung was close enough that Hyunjin could probably count every eyelash Jisung had. It made Hyunjin flustered, but he tried to hide the blush creeping up his neck. 

“Yeah, does it look okay?” Hyunjin asked a bit shyly. 

“You look sexy, my main bro,” Felix said around a mouth full of chips. Hyunjin’s mom failed to stifle her laugh on that one. 

“I literally hate your lingo, Felix,” Hyunjin said with no bite, a large smile going against his words. 

“Your makeup looks really good, though. You always look good, so that helps.” Jisung said offhandedly. It took Hyunjin by surprise. Getting a random compliment like that from Jisung was odd. He wasn’t one to do that. He had _never_ talked about Hyunjin’s looks, so the blush he was fighting eventually came through.

“Thanks?” 

“Seungmin! Hurry up, you sloth.” Felix leaned his head back as he yelled upstairs.

“Shut it, Lee!” 

“Changbin will think you’re hot even if you’re in a trash bag, okay? Changbin is a whipped man.” Felix, once again, made Mrs. Hwang laugh. He wasn’t lying, Changbin always showered Seungmin in sweet compliments.

“You boys still have plenty of time?” She asked. The three all chimed in with variations of _yes_ so she wouldn’t worry. “Are your dates meeting you here?” 

“Changbin is, Minho is running a bit late so I’ll meet him there,” Jisung said, looking slightly panicked. Hyunjin didn’t want to say anything, but he didn’t think that was the reason. 

Jisung hadn’t been the same lately. He was jumpy and insecure, something he never was before he started dating Minho. Hyunjin had heard them fight a few times, and he was _cruel._

The things he said to Jisung made Hyunjin’s blood boil. Every time he brought it up with Jisung though, he’d change the topic. He wanted Jisung to be safe and happy, but he seemed to be neither next to Minho.

Seungmin _finally_ made his way downstairs. He wore a classic black and white suit, Hyunjin figured Changbin would wear something similar. 

“I want photos of you four, ok? One or two nice ones, but I know you too well so just keep them family-friendly.” Mrs. Hwang ushered them into the backyard. 

They let Mrs. Hwang take a few nice and serious photos, ones to be shared with family. Then they had fun and struck every weird pose they could imagine, these were for friends. This is how they wanted to remember these years, the fun memories now immortalized. 

Changbin arrived not long after, and Mrs. Hwang got some photos of the couple and some of the five together. 

Changbin had been a strange addition, they were unsure if he would fit well with them. Yet, he was probably the best addition they could have. 

They piled into Changbin’s car, he had managed to rent a slightly bigger car for the evening so they wouldn’t be cramped on the way to the hall. 

Seungmin had the privilege of being in the passenger’s seat, which also meant he was in charge of the music. The whole way there they sang as loudly as they could, nearly exhausting themselves before they even got to the location. 

“Sungie? Minho is gonna be here right? If he stood you up on prom night…” Changbin trailed off. Changbin was the oldest of the five, and he really treated the other three as little brothers. He’s never liked Jisung’s boyfriend, but it wasn’t his choice to make. 

Jisung bit his lip with a shuddering breath. 

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be here soon!” He said, mainly sounding like he was convincing himself. Hyunjin noticed him constantly checking his phone and looking around, Jisung had no clue if he was really coming. 

After going through all the identification processes and security measures, they were _finally_ let into the main hall. 

It was dark and loud, dark enough that people a few feet away were unidentifiable. The only lighting really coming from the decorations that were illuminated. The DJ had some upbeat song playing so there were many people on the makeshift dance floor. 

“I’m going to the food!” Felix yells over the music as he snatched Seungmin and Changbin with him. It leaves Hyunjin and Jisung alone.

“You should go with them since you’re like Felix’s date,” Jisung says but barely loud enough to hear. His eyes constantly scanning the crowd. 

“I don’t want to leave you by yourself though.” Hyunjin reasoned. Jisung’s eyes finally fell and stuck on someone in the crowd, Hyunjin could tell it by the tightening of his jaw.

“Hey, babe!” Minho said as he came out of the crowd, drink in hand. He had a disgusting smile as his eyes raked over Jisung. “Good to see you. Hyunjin! Let me take my boyfriend off your hands.” 

Minho leads Jisung away by his elbow, and Hyunjin can’t help but worry. 

For once, Jisung looked scared. 

Jisung stood up to everyone, completely fearless even when the odds were against him. He stood up for Hyunjin the most, he hated seeing his friends upset. 

Hyunjin knew he needed to keep an eye out for Jisung.

It didn’t take long for Minho to get angry. Jisung had been quiet all night next to him, he didn’t want to get hurt. Minho used to be kinder to him when they first got together, but he started getting violent recently. He had taken to hitting Jisung and shoving him around, as well as calling him terrible things he doesn’t want to think about. He’s even gone as far as locking Jisung in his garage as punishment once. Jisung wants out of this relationship, but he doesn’t know how. 

He knows he doesn’t like him, however, did he ever really?

Sometimes Jisung thinks back to all the moments that truly made his heart race and face flush. They all had a common denominator.

Hyunjin. 

He knew he felt _something_ towards Hyunjin, but what he didn’t know.

+++

“You’re such a fucking brat!” Minho growled as he tugged Jisung outside. Jisung was choking due to being lead by his tie like it was a leash. Minho shoved him into the wall, the bricks scuffing up his back through his dress shirt. “You can’t do anything right, you’re so fucked up! I can’t believe I agreed to take you out on that date out of pity and now I’m stuck with you.” Minho snatched off Jisung’s tie after loosening it, going for his shirt buttons next. Jisung could hear the booming music from the venue even outside. He knew what was happening. It was always like this.

“Please,” Jisung croaked, “Don’t do this. I don’t want it.” 

Minho placed a hand over Jisung’s mouth to silence him.

“All you’re good for is being a little bitch for me to fuck.” 

Jisung wanted to cry, he wanted to run and scream and just find someone to help him. He can’t believe this was the same guy he started dating months ago. He was so sweet and kind when first taking Jisung out, but now he’s turned into someone cruel when it’s only the two of them. He does his best to keep up appearances in public. 

+++

Jisung couldn’t hide from Hyunjin, though. Hyunjin had noticed his best friend losing weight and coming over to his home with random bruises and cuts. The same Jisung who loved affection now flinches every time he touched him. He knew it had something to do with Minho, but he couldn’t find any solid evidence. He was the only person Jisung would hang out with that Hyunjin didn’t know much about.

Hyunjin went out searching for Jisung after noticing he hadn’t come back after going with Minho. When he noticed the emergency exit was cracked open, he immediately made a move towards that door. He could hear some voices outside but it was drowned out by the slight rain that was falling. He stepped outside to see if he could see anyone.

Seeing Jisung pressed against the wall, squirming and crying trying to get away from Minho who seemed to be in the process of stripping him out of his clothes made him see red. He didn’t have time to think about the best course of action, so he did what he needed to.

Hyunjin ran over to the two and shoved Minho to the ground with all the force he could muster. He positioned himself between Jisung and the other, gently bringing a hand behind him to rest on Jisung’s hip. He easily hid Jisung behind himself, trying to keep him away from Minho.

“Keep your hands _off_ of him,” Hyunjin growled lowly. 

“He’s mine, what the hell are you going to do about it?” Minho nearly laughed making a motion to grab Jisung from Hyunjin. 

Without thinking, Hyunjin’s fist connected with Minho’s jaw. A crack resonating through the alley. Hyunjin knew a bruise would be blooming on his own hand soon.

Jisung was shaking. Minho had never been so forceful, he wasn’t sure what would have happened if Hyunjin didn’t find him. It was normal for him to get angry and take out his frustrations in the form of violence, but never like this. 

He’s never seen Hyunjin be so intimidating either. He could see Hyunjin’s profile and saw the icy, unwavering glare being cast at Minho. Hyunjin is _kind,_ but he looks anything but that now. Jisung grabbed the back of Hyunjin’s shirt as he tried to steady his breathing. 

“I’m not done with you!” Minho shouted at Jisung as he attempted to get up. Hyunjin stepped down onto his ribs, slamming him back down to the ground. They could both hear the surge of air forced out his body from impact.

“Go.” 

Minho huffed and went towards the parking lot as he deemed his health to be more important. Hyunjin turned around and brought Jisung into his arms. The smaller tucked into his neck and held onto Hyunjin as if his life depended on it. He was thankful for the slight awning that protected them from the rainfall.

“I’ve got you, Ji.” Hyunjin pulled back, but Jisung grew frantic. He was desperately grabbing Hyunjin anywhere he could reach. “Hey, hey, I’m just going to button up your shirt, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” He spoke as softly as he could. Hyunjin was as gentle as ever, his soft-hearted nature always evident when comforting someone.

Hyunjin noticed the bruises and cuts on Jisung’s chest but decided not to mention it. He didn’t want Jisung to feel any more embarrassed or ashamed than he did right now.

“Do you want the top buttons done or no?” Hyunjin could see the irritation around his neck from where he was led by his tie. Jisung shook his head as the situation really settled in. 

Hyunjin could see his eyes turn glassy with tears and softly grabbed Jisung into another hug. His fingers scratching at the nape of Jisung’s neck, with his other arm holding him close by his waist. Jisung could only sob into Hyunjin’s shoulder. The comfort Jisung felt just from being in Hyunjin’s presence was overwhelming. He felt safe, secure, and _loved._ Minho didn’t love Jisung, but Hyunjin did.

And maybe Jisung loved him too.

“Let’s go to my place, Ji. I know my parents are out for the evening so they won’t be there to ask any questions.” Hyunjin offered. Jisung nodded without hesitation. 

“You’re normally so passive, why’d you do that?” Jisung weakly asked. His voice thick from crying. He could feel Hyunjin kiss the top of his head softly, it made Jisung smile a bit.

“I couldn’t help it. You were- I just- I couldn’t take seeing you like that. You were scared and I wanted to help you.” Hyunjin spoke softly, his cheek now resting on Jisung’s head. 

“Thank you, Jinnie. God, if you didn’t-”

“No _if’s,_ Ji. Let’s not think about that right now. Let’s get home. I’m texting Changbin right now.” Hyunjin soothes. He still has one hand wrapped around Jisung’s waist as he types out a message to Changbin.

An answer nearly comes immediately. 

_Bring him to the car, we’re having a guys night at yours or Jisung’s place_

“I’m so sorry, you guys should be enjoying prom and-”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Prom is only fun if all of your friends are having fun, and to be honest, there are way too many people in there for my liking.” Hyunjin pulled away from Jisung to dry the last of his tears. “Let’s get to the car, okay?”

Hyunjin drapes an arm around Jisung’s shoulders, and Jisung tucks in impossibly closer. They walk slowly and a bit awkwardly, but it’s the most secure for them both. Jisung felt safest where he was at right now.

Changbin already had the car running so it would be warm, and let Jisung choose where he wanted to sit. Seungmin and Hyunjin took the back seat with him in an effort to keep him calm.

“Ji?” Changbin called gently, Jisung looking up to see Changbin looking at him through the rearview mirror. “Do you want to go to your place, or Hyunjin’s?” 

“Hyunjin’s.”

“Ok, do you want me to drop you all off before I get food?” 

“No, we can go together,” Jisung said quickly. None of them remotely argued with him.

When the rest of the evening is spent cuddling on the couch with four of his closest friends and eating spicy chicken wings, Jisung feels like he can come back from this. 

Late in the evening, or early morning you could say, Hyunjin and Jisung were the last ones awake. Changbin, Seungmin, and Felix were laid across each other on the floor with blankets somehow laced between the three. The couple had always taken to cuddling to Felix since he’s so affectionate anyway. Jisung actually suspects something might form between the three romantically.

The two awake were on Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung comfortably using Hyunjin’s chest as a pillow. 

“Thank you again, Jinnie. I really mean it.”

“Sungie, I would have never let that just _happen_ to you. If you don’t mind me prying, why did you never tell us he was like this?” Hyunjin carefully approached the topic. Jisung drew random patterns on Hyunjin’s stomach, which were ticklish but he did his best to ignore it.

“I was hoping he would change, I guess. Like, I fell for this kind guy so he’s got to be in there somewhere, right? I was so wrong. I was also worried about what he would do if I tried to leave on my own.” Jisung rambled a bit, but it was a big relief to actually talk about it.

“I guess I can see where you’re coming from.” Hyunjin figured there was warm reasoning behind Jisung’s secrecy. 

“I- It’ll take me a while to open up to relationships again. He was my first _intimate_ relationship and as we can see, it didn’t go well.” Jisung was hesitant to open his heart to anyone again. He had been knocked down to such a low point by someone he thought he really liked. “Picking myself back up isn’t going to be easy, and I’m scared,” Jisung whispered. 

“I’ll always be here for you. I won’t let you go through this alone.”

_College: Freshman Year_

“I’m glad it’s really nice out today, it’s been a while since we’ve been able to hang out without worrying about homework,” Jisung said before taking a long swig of the lemonade he bought from a small stand. 

The two were roaming through the downtown area that was filled with various shops and eateries. It was spring so it wasn’t overly hot, a nice breeze kept them comfortable. 

“Is there anywhere specific you wanna go? Or do you just wanna look around?” Jisung gestured loosely to the stores around. Hyunjin thought on it for a bit. If he was to say he’d just like to look around, there’s a higher chance he’d spend more time with Jisung than just going to one or two stores.

“Let’s just look around, we rarely have time to do that,” Hyunjin said just loud enough for Jisung to hear. Jisung linked their arms and started down the sidewalk.

The two were solid conundrums and they knew it. Jisung was on the shorter side and looked rather innocent and sweet. Hyunjin was tall and striking, being noticed by many people. It stuns others when they learn Hyunjin is shy and insecure, and Jisung is the confident one and ferocious if needed. 

Hyunjin had only ever seen Jisung furious a few times. Once, someone at school had been spreading terrible rumors about Jihyo and it crawled under Jisung’s skin. When he finally found the main person responsible, he approached him in the middle of the cafeteria. Hyunjin wanted to disappear because it was well known the two were best friends, they thought Hyunjin could talk him out of causing trouble. 

Yet, when Hyunjin had finally decided he should intervene, Jisung began throwing punches faster than he could run. Hyunjin had to forcibly remove Jisung from the guy, which was rather hard. Jisung had started working out and it was evident by how strong his thrashes were. The teachers got there quickly and escorted the three to the principal, ready to receive their punishment. 

Hyunjin was only assigned a few days of detention, where Jisung and the other guy had been suspended for ten days. It had been a boring ten days without Jisung in class with him, but it went by quickly.

“Well, let’s start! You want to just go all the way down, and come up the other side?” Jisung confirmed before he got carried away. 

They first decided to stop at the antique jeweler. It was a very quaint store with a beautiful interior. The jewelry itself though was stunning. Since most pieces were genuine antiques, the prices were a bit too high for Jisung and Hyunjin. They liked to look and ask about the pieces though. The elderly woman that worked there loved talking about the different pieces she had recently acquired. However, it was busy today, so the two skipped out before they couldn’t move due to limited space. Jisung tightly held his hand to ensure they could get separated by the mass of people.

Hyunjin noticed though, that a few people followed them out. He didn’t mention anything to Jisung because it’s rather normal to leave somewhere at the same time. 

However, he did know the comments weren’t normal when he started listening in on their conversation. 

+++

“You wanna bet they’re dating? That’s fucking disgusting, who would hold hands with another man?”

“The tall one is probably the one that brainwashed the other guy. Poor dude.”

“You’re right, the tall one is such a twink.” Hyunjin could tell it was only two guys, so thankfully it wasn’t a whole group of homophobes. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though.

Hyunjin was doing his best not to cry, swallowing the sounds that wanted to escape was killing his throat. A hand on his shoulder turned him around forcefully. 

“Hey, pretty boy. This ya _boyfriend_? You two sick or something?” One of the guys said, disgust dripping from his words. The two were scruffy, middle-aged men. It made Hyunjin even more uncomfortable.

“Now that I can see his face good, he’s totally the little gay boy. You can see he’s wearing makeup too.” Hyunjin wanted to disappear, he’s tired of this. He’s tired of always being labeled.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jisung seethed, stepping forward a bit. 

“Gays like him don’t belong.” The first guy said. His buddy nodded along with him, like what he said was fact.

“And why?” Jisung challenged. “It doesn’t matter if your straight, gay, bi, pan, or just somewhere in between. What difference does it _really_ make? How does it affect _you_ in the slightest?” 

“You wanna try me, pipsqueak? You’re barely big enough to walk on your own.” The man shoved Jisung’s chest, making him stumble back a bit. Jisung was still tightly holding Hyunjin’s trembling hand when he surged forward and punched the guy in the nose. 

It was a hard enough hit to break the bone and blood started gushing down the man’s face. He stumbled back when he grabbed his nose, his eyes watering profusely from the hit. Jisung let go of Hyunjin’s hand and pushed him back to keep him from getting hurt too. 

Just about when Jisung was ready to swing again, he saw the knife the man had pulled out from his pocket. Needless to say, Jisung was terrified. In any of the times he’s ever been in a fight, never has the other person had a weapon that could actually _kill_ him.

The man lunged forward and swiped the knife across Jisung’s face. He was able to move back enough that the cut didn’t go too deep, but the stinging pain of laceration let him know he didn’t fully escape. 

+++

“You might want to think again before you swipe at him. You instigated the altercation and it was self-defense on his part, plus you have a weapon. Don’t make me call the cops on you.” 

The four looked over to the small shack next to them, the cute organic bakery that was a new addition to downtown. 

It was Jihyo. She had the emergency number ready to call, showing off her phone screen. The man grunted and tucked away his knife. 

“You’re lucky this little lady saved your ass.” He said before walking away, his buddy going with him. 

Jihyo quickly ran over to her brother to assess his face. Jisung could feel the blood dripping from his cheek and down his neck, he was never going to get all the blood out of this shirt. She dug around in her purse for some napkins, but couldn’t find any. She ran into the bakery to get some. At this point, Jisung was beginning to hear properly again since his own heartbeat wasn’t so deafening. 

He could hear Hyunjin crying behind him. 

“I’m sorry, Ji. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if it wasn’t for me. I-” Hyunjin was rambling when Jisung collected him into a tight hug, keeping the bleeding side of his face away from Hyunjin. 

“Here Ji, The owner had some of those disinfecting towelettes and lots of napkins. Let’s get you home and see if you need any stitches.” Jihyo explained as she handed Jisung the small handful of items. She immediately directed her attention to Hyunjin. 

“You okay, Jinnie? Are you injured?” Jihyo rubbed her hand comfortingly on Hyunjin’s back. She always treated him kindly, it made Hyunjin want to cry a bit more. 

“I’m fine, thank you Jihyo.”

Jisung pulled away from Hyunjin and slipped his hand into the others. Hyunjin snatched his hand away in response. He looked everywhere except towards Jisung as he walked ahead. 

Jisung feels hurt, unsure of why Hyunjin completely pulled away from him. 

“You dumbass, he’s scared. You two were holding hands when that went down, right? He’s scared it’s gonna happen again. Now go reassure him before you confuse yourself anymore.” Jihyo shoved his back lightly in an effort to quicken his pace. 

It made a lot more sense now that Jihyo explained it. Jisung felt a bit dense.

“Jinnie, listen to me? Please?” Jisung looked up at Hyunjin whose face was stone cold. Jisung hated seeing that face. Hyunjin was meant to be smiling, glowing, laughing. 

“It’s fine Ji, it can wait until we get home,” Hyunjin said, not even sparing a glance towards him. It struck a nerve deep in Jisung’s heart. 

“No, it can’t wait Hyunjin. I’m gonna talk and you’re gonna listen.” Jisung demanded. It was rare for him to ever talk to Hyunjin like this, they hardly ever argued since freshman year. 

“Talk all you want.” Hyunjin shrugged him off. Jisung shoved Hyunjin’s shoulder back, making him turn to face himself. 

“Stop running from me.” 

Hyunjin looked down at him coolly, but not for long. It wasn’t long before the facade began to crumble. Jisung could see tears threatening to spill again as he grabbed Hyunjin’s hands tightly within his own. 

“This is okay, Jinnie. This isn’t something you should have to be wary of. People like that are rare instances around this part of town, you shouldn’t be scared to hold hands with your best friend. It hurt me when you pulled away from me.” Jisung explained. Hyunjin tugged a hand from Jisung to wipe his cheeks from the tears spilling down. Jisung laced their fingers together tightly and continued walking forward. 

“Thank you, Sungie.” 

They walked in silence the entire way back to Jisung and Jihyo’s home. Jisung kept the napkin on his cheek tightly to avoid having blood everywhere. 

“Hyunjin, can you help clean that cut for him? I’m gonna tell both of our parents what happened today so you guys don’t have to.” Jihyo didn’t want this to happen again, but it was out of her control. 

“There’s a first aid kit in my bathroom.” Jisung pulled Hyunjin upstairs and to his bathroom. The lights were blindingly bright but it allows for Hyunjin to see exactly what’s going on. 

Jisung hopped up onto the counter next to the sink. He spread his legs while he waited for Hyunjin to step between them. It was a rather compromising position for them to be in, but under this circumstance, Jisung tried to keep his mind in the present and not in the gutter. But Hyunjin’s hips between his thighs _really_ made that difficult to do.

Hyunjin could feel his face heating up as he leaned close to evaluate the cut. It wasn’t deep enough for stitches, but it was still bleeding a bit. 

“Let me know if this hurts too much.” Hyunjin was running a washcloth under warm water with some soap to clean the cut. 

He grazed Jisung’s cheek first, dabbing away most of the blood that had dried from earlier. When he got to the cut, he saw Jisung flinch. 

His thighs immediately tightened around Hyunjin’s hips, still wincing a bit from the roughness of the cloth. It couldn’t be helped, so he held his breath until Hyunjin was done cleaning the wound. 

Jisung could see Hyunjin’s ears were red, he figured he was embarrassed by being so close. Jisung tried to focus on anything but Hyunjin, but that leads back to the pain he was feeling. 

So he was a bit stuck until Hyunjin was completely done. 

Hyunjin took his time applying the ointment to the cut and bandaging it. 

“We’re done, finally.” Hyunjin laughed a bit as he closed the box of materials. Jisung pulled him closer by his hips with his feet, startling Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin wasn’t really sure what to do, looking at Jisung only seemed to be increasing his heart rate exponentially. 

Jisung opted to rest his forehead against Hyunjin’s shoulders, linking his arms around Hyunjin’s waist as well. Hyunjin fumbled for a minute before deciding to loosely wrap his arms around Jisung’s _tiny_ waist. 

“Thanks for cleaning the cut for me,” Jisung mumbled into Hyunjin’s shirt. “Are you feeling okay, though?” 

“Yeah, I’m good now. I just wish it didn’t have to happen.” Hyunjin felt a sense of guilt. The men were harassing him, but Jisung was the one injured. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jinnie. How about we just take a nap for now, and think later. We’re both tired from today.” 

Hyunjin couldn’t find it in himself to disagree. He went to pull away from Jisung but froze when he noticed how close Jisung’s face was to his since he pulled back at the same time. 

Sitting like this, with Jisung’s lips just barely centimeters away, really tested Hyunjin’s patience.

He figured he wouldn’t get to sleep at all.

_College: Sophomore Year_

Seungmin had looked away from the bowl for just a few seconds to read over the recipe again, and Changbin was already going astray.

“For the fifth time in ten minutes, what the _fuck_ are you doing to the cake batter?” Seungmin scolded Changbin. The two were trying to bake a cake from scratch just for fun. Hyunjin, Jisung, and Felix were in the main room playing some video games to entertain themselves.

“Listen, the funfetti cakes have sprinkles. Why can’t ours?” Changbin tried to reason with a large bottle of rainbow sprinkles in his hand. Seungmin reached across to grab them, but Changbin held them out of reach by a few inches.

“They’re gonna melt!” Seungmin complained.

“No?” Changbin swears sprinkles have some ingredients that make them _not_ melt.

“Just dump a whole bottle of sprinkles in there and see what happens. It’d be rainbow then if they melt.” Felix calls out as he watched Jisung and Hyunjin fight to the death in some arcade-style fighting game. Jisung seemed to be kicking Hyunjin’s ass.

“Felix big brain,” Jisung yelled over the loud voice from the game that announced his character had won the match.

“No, Felix pea brain, I’m not- _Changbin!”_ Seungmin cried out. The whole apartment went silent, even the game had gone quiet due to the screen loading. They could all assume what happened. 

“No, babe, it was an accident. I love you too much to be this evil.” Changbin pleaded. He had dropped all the sprinkles into the cake batter when he was leaning over to grab the whisk.

“Felix, you did it.” Seungmin accused, seeing as how he mentioned all the sprinkles earlier.

“Felix didn’t do shit.” Felix had an offended look plastered on his face. Jisung and Hyunjin decided to start up yet another match in hopes of getting to tie their scores. 

“Pick out every fucking sprinkle,” Seungmin said in all seriousness. Changbin is trying his best not to laugh at just how serious Seungmin is, but he winds up completely disappearing from view due to doubling over in laughter behind the kitchen island.

Jisung and Hyunjin completely froze at the command, shocked by such an idea.

“You _cannot_ be serious I’m your boyfriend, you wouldn’t do this to me,” Felix said, looking unimpressed.

A few months ago is when things boiled over between the three. Changbin and Seungmin wound up being jealous at the other for spending time with Felix. When they finally realized they liked Felix, they decided to tell him immediately. 

Little did they know Felix had been crushing on them for a while too. 

Needless to say, they’ve been in a relationship since.

But that doesn’t stop things like this from happening, not much in their dynamic changed. 

“Do it and I’ll pay you $50.” Felix shot up from the couch as soon as money was involved, he needed to pay for food this week somehow. Felix was still living in his own dorm with his roommate. They wanted to wait and see if this would work before Felix moved in.

“Bet, bitch.” Seungmin handed Felix the bowl of batter, gloves, and a trashcan so Felix could get to work. 

“You’re really going to sit there and pick out a couple hundred sprinkles?” Jisung looked at Felix with concern. “For only $50?”

“Cash is cash, I need to eat somehow.” Felix shrugs as he half throws away sprinkles, and half eats the cake batter. Seungmin honestly doesn’t seem too concerned as he moved on to doing something else. 

The next few minutes are spent in comfortable peace, it wasn’t silent thanks to their activities.

However, that is interrupted harshly by the constant ringing of Hyunjin’s phone. 

_Mom?_

He signs for everyone else to quiet down as he answers the phone. 

“Hey, Mom? What’s up?” Hyunjin answered carefully, she had taken to texting Hyunjin for minor or casual things and calling for serious matters. 

“ _Hyunjin, You need to come home._ ” His mother said tightly, she sounded strained and weak. He didn’t like it at all. 

“Mom? What’s wrong?” 

“ _Bring Jisung with you. You’ll need him._ ” Was all she could say before she ended the call. His four friends look at him concerned as he doesn’t move for a few seconds. 

“Jisung, get your things. My mom needs us _now._ ” Hyunjin said as he ripped his jacket from the couch and tugged it on. Jisung doing the same and shoved his phone away. The game was ditched without even pausing it.

“I’ll fill you guys in if it’s serious,” Jisung said on his way out. 

Thankfully it was a rather quick walk back to their neighborhood. On average it was maybe a ten-minute walk, but they were getting there in record time. 

The two ran as quickly as possible. Bystanders were looking at them with disgust for running against the grain, but they did what they had to do. 

They stumbled to a stop in front of Hyunjin’s house, taking gasping breaths while observing the change of scenery. There were police cars right outside his house, but nothing else seemed odd. 

The two rushed to the front door and found it wide open. 

Making the first and only left to get to the living area, they’re met with melancholy. 

His mother is crying while trying to talk to one of the officers, who seems to be taking some notes. One of the women officers present was the first to notice Jisung and Hyunjin. 

“Mrs. Hwang? Would you be more comfortable telling him?” She asked his mother. She sucked in a deep breath and nodded. “We’ll step out, please let us know when you're done.” 

The few people silently stepped out around the two frozen in the doorway like statues. Hyunjin had never seen his mother like this. 

With a shaky breath, she stood up and trudged over to her son. A tight-lipped smile painted on her face as she gently grabbed Hyunjin’s cheeks. Hyunjin’s eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, Jisung was in the same state. 

“Jinnie. Your father was coming home early, we didn’t know about it. He wanted to surprise us.” Mrs. Hwang momentarily choked on her words, quickly wiping away her tears. 

“He was in an accident not long ago, he didn’t make it.” 

Hyunjin’s world momentarily stood still. His father had been gone on intermittent business trips in and out of the country. This is what he had done Hyunjin’s whole life, sadly missing some major milestones. Hyunjin loved his father nonetheless because he always tried to keep in contact. He sent birthday letters and small Christmas gifts if he was away. 

It took Jisung’s hand softly rubbing his back to bring him out of his shock. Hyunjin immediately wrapped his mother into a tight hug, resting his cheek against the top of her head. He didn’t try to be strong, he knew he wasn’t in this moment. Hyunjin let himself breakdown into sobs while his mother held him close. 

Jisung stood off to the side and watched the two comfort each other, wondering why it had to be them. 

Jisung had always been comfortable with Hyunjin’s family. The three were ridiculously kind and welcoming. Hyunjin’s parents knew no stranger and found the good in everyone, Hyunjin was just the same in his own way. 

Hyunjin and his mother pulled apart, she wiped away as many tears of his as she could. 

“Why don’t you go upstairs with Jisungie? They won’t be here much longer. I’ll tell you when they’ve left, okay?” Mrs. Hwang murmured while squeezing Hyunjin’s arms. 

Hyunjin barely nodded in response. He just grabbed Jisung’s wrist and tugged him upstairs to his room. Jisung wasn’t going to fight him on this, he wanted to comfort his friend. Jisung wanted to be able to shower him with soft kisses and tell him things will be okay someday. 

But Hyunjin wasn’t his. 

Jisung laid down on Hyunjin’s bed, bringing the taller down to his chest. Hyunjin cried for a long time, letting the reality of the news sink in and process. 

Jisung just combed through his hair with his fingers and hummed random melodies. His heart broke for Hyunjin and his mother. 

“You know,” Hyunjin mumbled into Jisung’s chest. “I never got to tell my dad that I’m gay.” He finished with a bitter laugh. 

“Do you think he would’ve viewed you any differently?” Jisung asked. 

“I really don’t know, but I feel bad that he never got to know something so important. He probably expected me to marry a pretty girl and have kids, but that’s not what I want.” Hyunjin’s voice was thick from the tears, but he was calming down. 

“What do you want?” 

“It’d be nice to have a boyfriend, and maybe get married one day. I just want to be able to take care of myself and have someone support me for _me_.” Hyunjin rolled off of Jisung and curled into his side instead. 

“That sounds nice, Jinnie.” Jisung had to admit the simplicity was appealing. 

“Could you text the others? They’re probably worried.” Hyunjin played with the charm on Jisung’s necklace. They long since outgrew the bracelets, but they kept the charms with them on a necklace even now. 

“They’ll probably want to come over.” 

“Then let’s wait for when she gives us the all-clear.”

\- - -

There were a few knocks on Hyunjin’s door, Jisung opted to text them that they could come in instead of yelling through the door.

Hyunjin had fallen asleep next to Jisung, while the other three just arrived. It looked like they were ready to fill a bunker for an apocalypse with the number of things they had. 

Several bags were in Seungmin’s hands, filled with different snacks and candies. Where Changbin was carrying blankets and pillows. Felix had what was assumed to be an overnight bag of clothes. 

“Mrs. Hwang let us in, she told us you two were up here. How long has he been out?” Changbin pointed to Hyunjin. 

“Maybe an hour and a half? My arm is totally numb but that’s fine. I’m glad you guys came over. I think he’ll feel a bit better with some company for the evening.” Jisung scratched at Hyunjin’s nape again, but it actually woke Hyunjin up this time. 

“Bin?” Hyunjin mumbled as he tried to look for the oldest. Changbin came over and gently pushed Hyunjin’s hair away from his face. 

“Me, Lix, and Min are here for the night if you want us to stay. Ji let us know what was up.” Changbin sat down next to Hyunjin as he spoke to him. 

Jisung forgets this side of Changbin a lot. The soft and gentle side that wants the best for everyone, and will do his best to keep you happy. Jisung thinks Seungmin and Felix are lucky men to have someone like Changbin by his side in such a dark world. 

“Stay, please?” Hyunjin asked as if the three weren’t practically ready to move in.

A few minutes later, a laptop was set up in the middle of the bed. Netflix was pulled up while Felix was scrolling for a movie to watch. Changbin was sitting between Seungmin’s legs, back to his chest. They decided to sit to the right of Felix. 

Whenever Felix was satisfied with his movie choice, he leaned into Seungmin who wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 

Despite the obvious size difference, Hyunjin was the one sitting with his back to Jisung’s chest. Jisung tightly hugged his waist and hooked his chin onto Hyunjin’s shoulder so he could easily see the computer screen. 

They made it through the entirety of two Disney movies before they started getting sleepy. Even though Changbin brought so many blankets and pillows, they all managed to squeeze into Hyunjin’s queen-sized bed. 

He had only gotten it since it was really the only option available at the time, he always hated how big it was with only him in it. It even seemed a bit big sometimes when he and Jisung would cuddle together. 

But to him right now, Hyunjin enjoyed having his closest friends around him. He didn’t feel as lonely when he fell asleep clinging onto who he thinks is Jisung, and probably Felix against his back.

_College: Junior Year_

“I’ll take him home, Felix. We’re still neighbors after all.” Jisung reassured Felix that he didn’t mind driving Hyunjin home. 

Jisung normally drank at a party and a _lot._ But this time he didn’t feel the need to, he had panic lying in the back of his mind the whole evening. So he avoided drinking anything except water. Jisung socialized with a few of his classmates that he honestly didn’t know the names of, but they were nice so they were cool. He then stumbled across Hyunjin who was hammered. 

Hyunjin doesn’t like alcohol, but Felix and Changbin had been handing him drink after drink. It pissed him off that Hyunjin was wasted because his own friends were being forgetful of Hyunjin’s preference. Jisung knew that he was just too afraid of saying no and looking _lame_ , and it terrified Jisung because what if it wasn’t Changbin or Felix? What if it was someone asking for something much worse? What if he couldn’t defend himself? Jisung’s mind was racing until he was able to hold Hyunjin tightly, he could calm down a bit knowing he was safe.

So, in an effort to bring him home, Jisung draped Hyunjin’s arm across his shoulders as he dragged him to his car. He was thankful to have finally gotten his license for moments like this. Hyunjin was tall and really out of it, so trying to shove him into Jisung’s car proved to be challenging. Hyunjin kept giggling but eventually got all his limbs into the car. The seat belt was a whole challenge Jisung didn’t want to remember.

When Jisung sat down in the driver’s seat Hyunjin’s hand immediately found his thigh. Jisung started the car but eyed Hyunjin suspiciously, he never initiated contact like this. Hand holding, hugs, cuddles were all usual. Yet, this had a suggestive tone to it. 

If he had kept his _damn hand still,_ it wouldn’t have been so bad. Hyunjin decided it would be wonderful to randomly grab or rub the inside of Jisung’s upper thigh. It took all of his will power to not stop the car and do something he will inevitably regret, or hurt Hyunjin’s feelings by slapping away his hand. 

The ride home felt terribly long due to Hyunjin’s ministrations, trying to ignore that his pants were tighter than they originally were. Thankfully he stayed pretty quiet and complacent in the car. 

The house was a different story. 

Hyunjin was almost fighting Jisung who was supporting all of his weight. Jisung had to attempt to pull him up a flight of stairs, and he has never wanted more than anything for Hyunjin to sober the fuck up and walk himself up these stairs. Jisung was also thankful that Hyunjin’s mom was out for the evening, she had decided to take a mini-vacation over the weekend. 

Jisung gracelessly tossed Hyunjin onto his bed. He was beginning to melt into his comforter, and Jisung knew he had very little time to get him changed before he fell asleep. 

“Hyunjin, you’ve gotta work with me,” Jisung said as he was unbuttoning Hyunjin’s shirt. He’s seen Hyunjin’s body way more than he probably should have, but now it just seems invasive. He’s not completely there and Jisung is scared to make him uncomfortable. 

“Stay with me?” Hyunjin mumbled. His thick lips set in a pout that slurred his words more than the alcohol would. Jisung only just now noticed he was wearing sparkly lip gloss, the sight driving him crazy.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Jinnie. Help me get you changed and I’ll come back in the morning. I promise.” 

Jisung tugged the shirt from Hyunjin’s arms and forced himself to keep his eyes on something else. Not his incredibly well-toned chest and- 

“I’m taking off your shoes now!’ Jisung sped through so he would _not_ continue that thought. He knew he was blushing furiously, but Hyunjin wouldn’t remember that little detail in the morning. 

“Can you change out of the pants on your own?” Jisung asked as he grabbed some shorts from Hyunjin’s drawer. 

“I can do most of it, trying to pull them off my feet ain’t gonna happen though.” Hyunjin worked his belt off and threw it to the side. Jisung was _desperately_ trying to keep his thoughts from roaming, but that was undeniably attractive. His eyes following Hyunjin’s hands as he tugged the skinny jeans down his thighs, sitting back down the bed after getting dizzy. Jisung refused to let himself think so suggestively about his drunk best friend.

Jisung walked back over and managed to help tug the jeans off without looking where he shouldn’t. He gave the shorts to Hyunjin wordlessly. 

“Thanks, Ji. I love you so much. I mean it.” 

_What?_

“Hyunjin, you’re drunk. I’ll-”

“I really do, I promise I do. I lo-”

Jisung had to leave before Hyunjin kept talking. Hyunjin was just drunk and talking nonsense. There’s no way he could actually love Jisung. He couldn’t get his hopes up. 

Hyunjin stared at his own door in shock, not noticing the tears falling down his face. His best friend, the man he loved, ran from him. He started sobbing. His chest was heaving as he struggled to get air into his lungs. His eyes burned from the tears that refused to stop. 

Hyunjin heard his phone notification ring and checked it after clearing his vision a bit. 

_Jisung:_

_“I’ll be there in the morning, Jinnie. Please sleep well.”_

It did make Hyunjin’s heart weigh less, but it took a long time for him to calm down enough to go to sleep. He made a promise to himself to confess properly the next morning, no matter what. It’s what he owed to Jisung and himself so he could move on.

\- - -

Hyunjin heard the door to his room close rather loudly, followed by a whispered string of expletives that only Jisung could come up with. He had only just woken up a few minutes ago, mainly long enough to check the time. 

He felt the bed shift where Jisung sat down next to him. 

"Hyunjin, how are you feeling this morning?" Jisung asked as he gently brushed his bangs from Hyunjin's face. It must have gotten hot during the night since his hair was sticking to his face. He rolled over to avoid his eyes. He could remember what happened well enough last night. He knew he confessed to Jisung, and he _rejected_ him because he was drunk.

"Awful, but where's the shock in that. Never let me drink again. I do need you to listen to me, though." Hyunjin sighed as he sat up, the blankets falling from his chest. Jisung had managed to strip him out of his clothes the night before, but only successfully got him in shorts. That’s about the only thing he can remember from last night, anything at the party was long gone. "What I said last night, I meant it Jisung."

"You were drunk."

"But I know I've been in love with you for _five years,_ you dumbass," Hyunjin mumbled loud enough only the two could hear. He cast his gaze over to the desk in the corner, biting his lip in worry. Maybe he was a bit too forward, but he couldn’t take it back now. He was nervous about confessing his feelings in general, but it’s his best friend too. Hyunjin couldn’t take losing his best friend over this.

Jisung sat in stunned silence. Hyunjin _loves_ him? For years? There's no way.

"Hyunjin-"

"Jisung, just stop and let me do this right." Hyunjin raised his voice slightly. He shifted to where he was sitting up straighter and faced Jisung. Hyunjin took a deep breath as he thought. His lack of shirt reminding him how damn cold he kept the room. He snatched the blankets up one last time.

"Since middle school, I've had some feelings for you. You were always there for this kid who was shy and clumsy and emotional. You stood up for me against people when you could've just left me alone."

"I would neverleave you with people who only wanted to hurt you. You don't deserve that!" Jisung cut him off in a tone of desperation.

"Then when we got to high school apparently people had a whole new view of me. I was still shy and emotional but I changed physically. People only saw me as a pretty face and I couldn't stand it. I wanted so badly for someone to like me for _me._ When you got your first boyfriend I remember crying that night." Hyunjin laughed weakly "I thought we would grow apart because you had someone else to be with. Someone who could love you in a way I couldn't as a friend. I think that's when I realized I was truly in love with you."

"Hyun-"

"I've always wished it was me you wanted. Since we've been such good friends I just tried to push it away." Hyunjin kept rambling, he sounded close to tears. Hyunjin hated how desperate he sounded, but the dull ache in his chest from keeping his feelings to himself was starting to become a searing pain. 

"Please, Hyunjin, let me talk too.” Jisung grabs his arm in an attempt to ground him. Jisung’s hand didn’t wrap completely around Hyunjin’s arm, and it reminded him just how petite Jisung was in comparison.

Hyunjin fell into silence. 

"Senior year, you remember what happened at prom? And what you did?" Jisung whispered, voice almost breaking.

"Of course I do." Hyunjin would never forget it.

"That's when I realized you weren't just a friend to me. I had some feelings for you and I was scared. You'd never been interested in getting into a relationship, let alone interested in your best friend. I thought maybe you wouldn't like me since I’m used-"

"Absolutely not, don't say that about yourself. That guy only broke you down, you’re not used." A hand came to the nape of Jisung’s neck as Hyunjin pressed their foreheads together. Hyunjin’s eyes were fierce, but it didn’t scare him. Jisung’s ex was a terrible person, and Hyunjin hated being reminded of him. Jisung could feel the rare anger Hyunjin was giving off. 

In an effort to calm him down, Jisung grabbed hold of Hyunjin’s free hand and held it between his own. Hyunjin relaxed in a near-instant, eyes softening to something that resembled sadness.

"He broke me but you helped put me back together by supporting me as I struggled, you never turned your back on me when I did stumble. Just being there for me when I was hurting so much made my feelings so much stronger but I didn't know if it was gratefulness or if I really did like you. The first time I wanted to kiss you is when my thoughts made sense." Jisung shyly admitted. He’s thought about kissing his best friend waytoo much.

"You actually like me? When you could have nearly anyone you want?" Hyunjin said in disbelief.

"I want _you,_ Hyunjin. No one else. The only reason I rejected you last night was because you were drunk. I didn't want you to regret it."

"Thank you." A cute smile stretched across Hyunjin’s lips and Jisung’s eyes immediately locked onto the motion. There were still some flecks of glitter from the gloss he had been wearing last night.

"Please let me kiss you," Jisung whispered. He couldn’t resist himself anymore, especially knowing Hyunjin returns his feelings. He longed to know just how plush Hyunjin’s lips would be against his.

"I've- I'm not-" Hyunjin was stuttering and blushing wildly. Jisung sometimes forgets Hyunjin is almost _painfully_ shy and inexperienced. Jisung smiled and cupped Hyunjin’s cheek to encourage him to focus on him again.

"I'll take the lead, don't worry. Just tell me if you don't like something, okay?"

Hyunjin nodded as he got lost in Jisung’s eyes. They were laced with affection and knowing that it was directed at himself made him flustered. 

Jisung leaned in enough to nearly close the distance but waited to see if Hyunjin was truly okay with this. He didn’t want to force Hyunjin into anything. His eyes fluttered closed and when he pressed into Hyunjin's lips, it felt right.

It was peaceful and sweet. Hyunjin's innocence was evident through his shy responses in an effort to meet Jisung halfway. He loved the feeling of simply _kissing_ Hyunjin, his lips were soft and Jisung was addicted, but he wanted more. Jisung pulled back, just barely but enough to talk into the other’s lips.

"I want you to try and relax, okay? You can touch me. _Please_ touch me." Jisung muttered before pulling Hyunjin close again. He slung a leg over Hyunjin’s hips so settle down on his lap to get closer than before. Jisung could feel Hyunjin’s thighs flex before relaxing again when he had settled down.

Hyunjin whined into the kiss when Jisung ran his hands down his chest. The touch felt so intense to him because he’d been longing for it for so long. His fingertips were cool to Hyunjin’s chest that had grown warm. Hyunjin’s lips were soft and pliant against his. Jisung broke the kiss to admire Hyunjin, momentarily recollecting himself. His lips were swollen and glossy red, his face was deeply flushed and his eyes shone with desire. Jisung can’t believe he could have been doing this had he just accepted his feelings faster. He probably will never get over the feeling of Hyunjin’s lips on his own.

" _Please_ keep kissing me, Jisung. _Ple-"_

Jisung cut off his begging and tugged Hyunjin back into a deeper kiss. He worked Hyunjin's lips apart, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Hyunjin desperately grabbed onto Jisung's waist and thighs. The slick feeling of Jisung’s tongue sliding across his own drove him crazy. Jisung tasted bitter, like the coffee he had inevitably been drinking this early in the morning. Hyunjin found himself moaning loudly into the kiss. He didn’t see Jisung being as forward as he is, but he _loved_ it. He could feel Jisung smirking against his lips, proud of the reaction he got.

Hyunjin’s mind was clouded and all he could focus on was Jisung. Jisung's hands were settled on the waistband of his shorts, a silent question.

+++

"Please, Ji," Hyunjin whispered into the kiss. He’s craved this kind of touch for years. He tries to memorize the feeling of Jisung’s hands grabbing at his hips hard enough to leave deep bruises. 

"Of course." 

He let his hands roam up over Hyunjin's chest as he licked into his mouth once again, eliciting a pretty sound Jisung will never forget. It fueled him to hear it more, but he didn't want to overwhelm Hyunjin all at once. He wanted this to be special for both of them.

He pushed Hyunjin back onto the bed and pressed gentle kisses across his jaw and down onto his neck. Jisung felt Hyunjin’s fingers thread through his hair, tugging every now and then and Jisung latched onto his neck. Hyunjin’s other hand was occupied massaging the back of his upper thigh. 

Jisung’s voice caught as he whined. He dropped his head onto Hyunjin’s shoulder. Hyunjin brought both hands to Jisung’s ass and roughly groped him. He relished in the feeling of Hyunjin’s hands on him, they were much larger than his own and made him feel small in comparison. As he continued massaging, Jisung moaned shamelessly as he resumed leaving marks on Hyunjin. Jisung worked at a particular area of his neck before getting bold. 

He ground his hips down against Hyunjin’s. A wave of pleasure and relief surged through their bodies as he wanted to seek out the feeling again. He felt Hyunjin shudder beneath him with a loud whine, surprising himself a bit. Jisung repeated the motion again.

“What are you-” Hyunjin cut himself off with a moan, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Not really, I’d very much like for you to keep going.” Hyunjin’s lips quirked into a smile. Jisung watched his smile fade as his lips fall apart and eyes roll back once he rolled his hips again. 

Hyunjin’s shaking hands moved up to Jisung’s shirt, fumbling with the fabric. 

“Take this off, _please,_ ” Hyunjin whined and tugged on the shirt to prove his point. Jisung chuckled softly at Hyunjin’s eagerness but sat up to toss his shirt aside anyway. 

Hyunjin’s hands and eyes wasted no time taking in the newly exposed skin. The toned muscle beneath his fingers flexing from the fleeting touches. Hyunjin’s hands were soft but his touches soon turned into bruising holds as he tried to ground himself. 

“Jinnie, you need to tell me what you want. I can’t read your mind.” Jisung asks. He placed a hand on Hyunjin’s chest for balance. Hyunjin hadn’t actually told him what he could and couldn’t do, and he didn’t plan on making him uncomfortable any time soon. 

“I don’t know, I can’t think. I just want you but I don’t know how-” Hyunjin sounded close to tears because he was frustrated with himself. He knew he wanted Jisung, but had no clue in what way. The view he had of Jisung kept throwing off his train of thought. Having a pretty boy sat in his lap was very distracting, especially since the pretty boy is Jisung who’s just as eager as he is.

“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe, baby.” Jisung dropped a soft kiss to his nose in an attempt to comfort Hyunjin. He rested their foreheads together, just taking in each other’s presence while Hyunjin tried to voice his needs.

“Touch me?” Hyunjin asks shyly, his cheeks turning a dark red and glanced around Jisung. He felt really exposed by just telling Jisung what he wanted. 

“Aren’t I doing that?” 

“No, like, _touch_ me.” Hyunjin grabbed Jisung’s free hand and guided it downward. Hyunjin placed Jisung’s hand so close to where he desperately wanted to be touched. He wasn’t quite brave enough to voice it clearly. 

Jisung thankfully got the hint.

He dragged his fingers over the bulge that’s poorly hidden by the shorts. Hyunjin sucked in a sharp breath, his hips jerking upwards. Jisung watched for any uncomfortable reaction, and when he saw none, he gripped Hyunjin tighter and held down his hips as best as possible.

He was slowly palming Hyunjin and watched him writhe in pleasure. Hyunjin’s head thrown back while gripping the sheets tightly. His knuckles were white from how tight his grip on the sheets was, his whole body flushed as well. Jisung could tell Hyunjin wanted to roll his hips against Jisung’s hand, but his hold prevented him from doing so.

To Hyunjin, the touch felt so intense seeing that this is the first time anyone else has touched him so intimately. He was beginning to sweat but he felt relieved seeing that Jisung wasn’t much better, even though he was just watching Hyunjin. It made him feel proud because Jisung was unwinding just from pleasuring Hyunjin. 

However, he was starting to get embarrassed by how closely Jisung was watching him. Hyunjin pulled his arm across his eyes trying to hide, as well as trying to hold back his moans.

“There’s no need to be shy, baby,” Jisung reassured. Jisung’s hand moved from his hip and gently tugged Hyunjin’s arm away from his face, pinning it above his head but loosely enough Hyunjin could move at any time. Hyunjin slowly turned his eyes to Jisung. His face was soft with affection, but there was the unmistakable gleam of desire in his eyes.

It seemed like that was what Hyunjin needed to hear, seeing as he stopped trying to hold back the needy sounds escaping his lips. He also didn’t stop the whine that happened as a response to Jisung stopping what he was doing. 

Jisung leaned down to kiss him again, their chests brushing together. Every touch between the two seemed more sensitive than the last. Hyunjin immediately let Jisung deepen the kiss. This time, Jisung took Hyunjin’s lip between his teeth and gently bit the flesh. He did it time and time again until he pulled back and could see the deep color his lips were beginning to take. It was quiet in his room beside the sounds of their kissing, any sounds of pleasure being swallowed by the kiss. 

Jisung decided to stop the teasing as he sat up and began to grind against Hyunjin properly, seeking to help them both. Hyunjin’s back arched off the bed slightly at the sudden friction, unable to gain back his senses since Jisung had no intention of stopping. 

Jisung watched Hyunjin’s chest rise and fall rapidly from his breathing. He saw his brows furrow and relax, watching his mouth fall open but hardly any sound come out besides broken, breathy whines. 

“ _God,_ this is- Fuck-“ Hyunjin couldn’t form complete sentences when he was feeling like this.

Hyunjin really took in what Jisung looked like at the moment. He saw that Jisung was just as flushed as he was, sweat causing his hair to stick to his face. He could clearly see the muscles in Jisungs arms since he was leaning over Hyunjin, making sure to support his weight so he wouldn’t potentially hurt Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin’s shyness dissipated as he could feel his high getting closer. He grabbed Jisung’s hips, guiding them against himself harder. 

Jisung whined at the sudden manhandling but went with it nonetheless. He could fantasize about that later.

“Jisung-“ Hyunjin choked out, “I’m so close.” He was beginning to feel the familiar heat and sensitivity that signaled he was close to release.

“Me too,” Jisung said through gritted teeth like he was trying to stay composed. 

The moans and whines between the two began to rise in frequency as they chased their climax. Hyunjin was barely able to keep his eyes open but didn’t want to miss any opportunity to see Jisung like this.

Neither of them lasted much longer; climax rippling through their bodies in indescribable pleasure. Jisung collapses onto Hyunjin’s chest, unable to support himself any longer.

Hyunjin and Jisung both stay still for a while in an attempt to catch their breath and come down from that high. 

“Are you good?” Jisung asked Hyunjin who was staring rather blankly at the ceiling. He was tired and sweaty, slightly uncomfortable now because of his shorts.

“Uh-huh,” Hyunjin was able to respond, he was out of it a bit longer than Jisung was.

+++  
  


Jisung laughed softly as he reconnected their lips, keeping the kiss sweet. 

“I’m so happy you didn’t reject me. I’m not sure what would have happened if you did.” Hyunjin slurred, his lips were nearly numb from the nibbling kisses Jisung gave him earlier. 

“I’m not either, but we don’t have to worry about that. I’ve got you and I don’t feel like letting you go. But, how do you want to do this? Do you want to go on a few dates before we make anything super official?” Jisung offered as he properly laid down next to Hyunjin, resting his head on the other’s chest. 

“We could, but do we need to?” Hyunjin looked down at Jisung, fiddling with his hair.

“We don’t _need_ to, but I’d love to take you out on a date anyway.” Hyunjin found himself giggling in embarrassment at Jisung’s words. It was going to take a while to adapt to showing his feelings. 

“Let’s think about it later! Right now I just wanna take a shower.” Hyunjin really wanted to get the hell out of these shorts right about now.

“Alright, baby.” Jisung could hear Hyunjin groan. 

“That’s going to take forever to get used to!”

_College: Senior Year_

“We’ve done it. We’re graduating. I want to cry already but nope, this makeup is too good to ruin.” Felix starts their small speech. He winks at Jisung who had done his makeup for him.

“It’s been a long time. Hyunjin and Jisung started together at what, five? I came in a few years later, and then Seungmin. The four of us have spent at least ten years together. We’ve been together an entire decade. I love you guys so much, I don’t know where I’d be if we didn’t meet.” Felix had tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Hyunjin and Jisung have been going a year strong together as a couple. Seungmin and Changbin accepted me into their relationship a while ago. We’re inseparable at this point. Seungmin and Changbin are already stuck with me, but you two are as well.” He pointed at couple across from him. Jisung was tucked into Hyunjin’s side. They were at Jisung’s house, hidden away in his bedroom so the four could talk. 

“We’re gonna grow old together, and experience so many things together. Promise me that, right?” Felix came to the end of his speech, smiling hopefully.

“That’s right, Lix. We’ve managed to stay together for ten years already. What’s ten more? Twenty more? I’m so thankful to have come across you guys. If Jisung hadn’t introduced himself to me in sixth grade I might have never met either of you.” Seungmin didn’t get emotional often, but you could see the love he had for his friends clearly.

“I’m happy to still be by Jisung’s side, even as his boyfriend. I was a really shy kid, even more so than I am now. However, you three and Changbin really helped me become a better version of myself and be a bit more welcoming.” Hyunjin felt his heart clench a bit. Such an important part of their life was finally coming to a close. 

“I love you guys a lot. We’ve all had our ups and downs but we could rely on each other. We never turned away from each other when we needed someone the most. I want to spend more of my life with you all. If I’m not a best man at your wedding one day I will throw a tantrum.” Jisung joked to Seungmin and Felix.

“Soon we’re going to be completely on our own. We’re moving into an apartment next month, away from our homes. Two places all of us spent so much time together. Memories were made here that I’ll never forget. Let’s make plenty more memories together, and stay by each other’s sides.” Jisung finished triumphantly.

The four broke out in a mini applause, laughing loudly as well.

They rose from Jisung’s bed and made their way downstairs, loudly like always.

All of their families were crammed in Jisungs living room. Dozens of people were waiting for them to come back down. Changbin was there as well since he had graduated last year.

“I’m proud of you guys. I met all of you the latest, but I never felt excluded from such a tight friendship. Let’s stay together for a long time.” Changbin said as he pulled them all in for a group hug.

“Picture time!” Jihyo shouted with a camera in her hand.

What seemed to be several hours later, photos were finally done. They had an hour or so before they had to leave for the ceremony.

Hyunjin and Jisung went back up to their room. They barely shut the door before capturing the other’s lips in a sweet kiss. Through smiles and giggles, they made it over to the bed. 

“I love you so much, Jinnie.” Jisung whispered against Hyunjin’s lips. As much as he wanted to run his fingers through his hair, it was styled to perfection and he didn’t want to ruin it.

“I love you even more, Jisungie.” Hyunjin kissed the tip of his nose before leaning back.

The charms from their bracelets had followed them to now, _still_ a charm on their necklaces. 

In a way, it was like a promise ring to them. It was a sign that they would be together for as long as they could, loving each other along the way.

They weren’t sure of what the future held, but as long as it had the other and their friends.

They could face it all.

**_END_ **

**Author's Note:**

> That was one heck of a ride, wasn't it? This isn't what I usually write but I wanted to stretch my creative wings a bit. I hope nothing was super weird. When I first started this it was meant to be a lot happier, but somehow all this angst slipped into it. However, I think it was a bit more realistic since it wasn't just a happy road. I've been working on this since April of 2019 and it changed direction so many times before it was posted here. (i'm actually writing these notes before it's completely edited.) one of my friends really helped me with reading over this and helping me figure out where to improve. many writing styles of mine seeped into this, mainly because I change tone depending on the severity of the scene. I hope that wasn't too bothersome? Let me know if tone changes are weird to read, it's a habit of mine that I'm not sure translates well. 
> 
> I think this is all I need to cover? I hope that's everything, if there's more I'll add it later. But please let me know your thoughts, as well as tags i need to add if I looked over any. 
> 
> I begin classes on January 14th! With that said, I'm not entirely sure when my next posting will be. 
> 
> I'm also going through this every now and then as well, changing some of the spelling errors that I didn't catch before. So some phrases might be minorly different if you happen to notice.
> 
> [Writing Twt](https://twitter.com/skzpresso)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/skzpresso)


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